The Quality of Love Podcast
The Quality of Love Podcast is a space where we empower individuals in toxic relationships with narcissists to transform their relationships into positive ones by providing valuable insights, practical tools, and helpful resources through a podcast.
Hosted by Podcast Magazine's 2022 40 Under 40 Winner, Tyrone Dixon.
The Quality of Love Podcast
Redemption and Relationships: Navigating Life's Challenges From Incarceration to Community Impact
When life throws you curveballs, it's the strength of the human spirit that sees us through. Join me, Tyrone Dixon, and my special guest James, as we usher in a new chapter of the Quality of Love podcast, taking you on a journey fraught with trials, yet brimming with transformative insights.
This season, we're peeling back the layers of personal development, mentorship, and the impact of media representation on African-American males, with James leading the charge with his inspiring narrative and unwavering aspiration to mentor the youth.
Navigating the crossroads between past hardships and future aspirations, we reveal the raw essence of resilience through stories of prison life and the potency of relationships forged behind bars. The law library becomes an unlikely sanctuary, and the bonds with fellow inmates turn into a foundation for personal growth and mentorship.
As we transition these discussions from the confines of incarceration to the challenges of reintegration into society, the focus lands on the importance of authentic connections, self-restraint, and the pivotal role that community outreach plays in reshaping lives.
Wrapping up with a hopeful note, we delve into the future—a future where technology and STEAM education stand as beacons of hope for our children. Through the "Tech Sisters" book initiative, we're calling on the collective efforts to build a brighter world for the next generation. With James's visionary guidance and a shared commitment to quality love and relationships, this season promises to be an enlightening exploration of redemption, growth, and the unwavering quest for a life replete with meaning and connection.
Your quality of love = Your quality of life #Peace&Love
you're listening to the quality of love podcast your home for all things love, relationship and mental health hosted by nationally certified life and relationship coach, tyrone dixon. Sit back relax and get tips on creating the life you deserve without wasting any more time.
Speaker 3:Welcome to the Quality of Love podcast. I'm your host, tyrone Dixon, nationally certified life and relationship coach, husband, father to two beautiful princesses and CEO of A Rose Through Concrete Consulting, father to two beautiful princesses and CEO of a roast through concrete consulting. As always, thank you all for taking the time to listen in with me tonight. I couldn't think of another way to kick off a new season than to have an extremely special guest with me here tonight. I appreciate the love and support that everyone has showed the quality of love podcast. Again, man, we're coming up on about four years of podcasting, which is incredibly crazy to me. I was thinking a little bit earlier and reflecting upon just how far along I've come, as if you've been listening to the Quality of Love podcast from the beginning, from the onset, then you know that this wasn't even supposed to be coming to fruition until I got home, came to fruition, won an award for the podcast, but I have to say that it's all towards the audience. Man, I'm extremely grateful and extremely appreciative of everyone who's listened, downloaded and subscribed. But enough of that. This evening we have a special guest.
Speaker 3:I met this gentleman through the Black Media Mogul Maker program.
Speaker 3:That we did, and once again I want to say congratulations to the cohort who recently graduated from the Black Media Mogul Program, mogul Maker Program. Excuse me, it was an incredible 10 weeks. I really enjoyed the time with the cohorts and again I had a special, one special cohort that wanted to come on the podcast and share a little bit about himself, share a little bit about his background, share a little bit about his background and, like I said earlier, I couldn't think of a better way to kick off a new season than to have this guest on, to share his story and to enlighten some of the young fellas out there and young women for that matter. And hopefully you gained something from this experience and were able to have my man, james, back on the show at some point in time to share an update on how he's doing and what he got going on. But I'm going to get out of the way so I can introduce y'all to the guest this evening. James, go ahead and introduce yourself to the audience, my man, yeah, my name is James.
Speaker 2:As you mentioned, I met him in a program. One of the reasons I took the program is because I watch TV not as much as probably others do, but when I do click on the screen I don't see anybody that represents us in a positive matter. We either have males on there being goofy and that's either the father or the brother. So I was like yo, there needs to be a narrative change where when you click on the screen you do have positive African-American males and they're not always cracking jokes or being a silly person on the TV screen. And then the other thing was there's a book out there called the making of a slave, the Willie Lynch theory, and I want to kind of bring that into the film industry and make a movie about it, or short script or however it plays out, in reference to understanding how that book relates to today's time and how it relates back then, and kind of see where it takes off from there, basically bringing everybody into, uh, conscious awareness of what's going on with us.
Speaker 3:um, absolutely, I love that man. I love that man that's. I think that's when, when we first and we connected early in the class, um, but I think when you first shared that with me, that was one of the things where I'm like, oh yeah, this brother got some power with a man for sure, um, with all that knowledge and understanding of the willie lynch letter and being able to be become a storyteller as a product of that um, and I just I think that was dope man. So I just wanted to say again uh, I appreciate you coming on to the show. We appreciate you coming on to the show, man, and being able to be authentic and share that um.
Speaker 2:What else, man, tell us a little bit more about yourself yeah, and so you know, um, I hate to say it's the typical story of growing up in the United States and being the byproduct of the Rockefeller drug law in regards to, I did some time in prison, especially at a young age.
Speaker 2:The new generation suffer the fate of the federal racketeering law and them not having any guidance.
Speaker 2:So that's one of the things I'm trying to step up and do more community outreach programs or even become a mentor to these individuals, because, as I did my stint in prison and I went back a second time, I really had to change my mindset and really realize that they don't have no outlet for us, and the outlets they really have for us is really just to send us back and they're playing games with us and we don't realize that because we're trying to, I guess, figure this out on our own.
Speaker 2:The other part of that is when you're young and building relationships. Relationships is either from a family standpoint or a committed relationship with a significant other, and in prison those are hard to navigate sometimes, and so that's really it understanding societal, uh, understanding society, and how they, they, they, they, they, they uh, pigeonhole was so I I, like I said, though, just stepping up my community outreach aspects and I'm currently driving trucks, but I'm getting out of that field because I really can't reach the youth like I need to, or even reach men that's like me that need an outlet or somebody to talk to.
Speaker 3:Absolutely so. If I'm correct and please correct me if I'm wrong, james it sounds like you. You looking to take your experiences and be a resource for young men in the community to be able to show them a more positive way or more positive direction, um, as opposed to going to prison or being pigeonholed, as you will put it yeah, because, uh, you know, um prison, we give qualification to that prison life, right and and and.
Speaker 2:When you mature, or you realize, and you read enough, or you just sit back and really analyze things, you realize that it's whack. Though, the same amount of time that I spent in prison right, I could have really been like a Nassau scientist, or I could have had two doctorate degrees or something, two PhDs doing something totally different and now you come home and you're playing catch up and it's enough of us sitting in there really just wasting time, like you're just sitting in there like a sack of potatoes just wasting time.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and there's there's statistics to back that up. So you see straight facts right now. All right, if, if, if you don't mind, then you share. You said a couple of times about your prison experience, about your prison experience. If you don't mind, can we drift down that path? Can we get a little deeper and talk a little deeper about some of your prison experiences first? And then, if that's okay with you, then, secondly, I really want to talk. You just said something that was real important, especially to the Quality of Love podcast, because we always talking about relationships. But I really want to talk about, like, the dynamics of being in a prison relationship and get some of your insight on that, because I know a lot of young brothers some of them listen to this show that get into prison and they're looking for a relationship and sometimes it's not always the best relationship or most healthy relationship to have when you're on the inside, because when you come on, come back outside, things different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely, we could go down that. Yeah, and that's about the personal relationships that I've had and the ones that I've witnessed, you know.
Speaker 3:Absolutely so. So you said prison when we were talking leading up to the show you were sharing with me that you went to. You end up going to prison at the age of 17, if I'm not mistaken.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I say 18 because they had me sit in jail. I was in there in the county about eight months before my birthday came, me and a co-defendant and you know if no one's aware of. They need to kind of do the history and understand the Iran-Contra conflict. And understand the Iran-Contra conflict a reference to how the drugs get in our community, who promoted the drugs and then the use of the money when they seize it. And then they got to understand the whole Rockefeller drug law and the cocaine alley or cocaine valley they called it from upstate New York to New York City and how they was lining us all up and trapping us off in this little area where they knew that, oh, you come from upstate, you're going to the city, you're on your way back, we're going to wait for you, pull you over and voila, there you go.
Speaker 3:researched, there were purposeful traps set up along the way in terms of of um, the authorities, police, whoever shares, whoever you want to say, identifying people who were, who were moving, moving drugs or moving whatever they were moving from upstate new york to throughout the yeah, yeah wow wow, wow, I never heard of that, yeah and the and the only reason it's not out there like that?
Speaker 2:because they did change the Rockefeller drug law. But a lot of us are still sitting down because of that movement. It was mandatory life sentence. They'll put a number on the front. Oh yeah, you got caught with a, with a bird and a half, so we're going to give you a 10 to life. And you know, in that process, do the math, you do 10, or you go to your board, they hit you so that 10 actually turns to 15, 18 sometimes. Then when they change the law, I was home. Luckily I did escape that prison system and come home. But I know like during that process they would say okay, if you had a 12 to life, we're going to now give you an 18 flat or something like that. But on the back end you do your bed and you still have post-release supervision. So you didn't have the life on the back anymore, but you were doing a little stint. And then in that same process, you can get your sentence reduced. But most of us was young, was going to jail and we didn't understand the concept, because when you go into a wolf, then you become a wolf. So, oh, part of the stipulations was if you get a Tier 3 ticket or any disciplinary tickets in there, then it's up for review and we can decide to let you go or not, or decide to reduce your sentence or not.
Speaker 2:A lot of us at a younger age imagine being in prison. At 18 years old man. You're like damn, I got life. You're not looking at the number on the front, you're just looking at the letters on the back. And so you're like yo, you're like a rebel. And then you're like yo, you're like a rebel. And then you're like an outlaw. And then you're really on your gang gang shit too as well. Because you're coming in there with that outside energy Like yo, now ain't nobody going to talk to me. Crazy in here, I'm going to just wild out. But then you meet older gentlemen. They put that revolutionary mindset in you. So then you start having issues with the police. Or the police start to see you move different, or the police think that oh, he's young, we're going to automatically fuck with him Right.
Speaker 3:And when you say, when you say police, real quick, james you say police, you mean the police on the inside of the jail.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I just wanted to make sure I clarified that. Yeah, so police might use the word police. Make sure I clarify that. Yeah, so police might use the word police. We're talking about ceos, okay, um, correctional officers, but we still use the word police.
Speaker 2:Yeah, some low inside knowledge for y'all there yeah, yeah and and you meet these older individuals and you begin to change your mindset and it becomes more or less. I took it as like qep EP Newton Mumu Abu-Jamal Black Panther movement, Because me personally, I wasn't really like wanting to be a street dude, but I grew up under Great Children's Academy and that's in Syracuse where there was this movement. It was this movement and they were kind of like making you socially aware of what's going on and teaching you about your African-American history and your roots and shit like that. But still, at the same time, I was dibbling and dabbling, so I was getting both parts of that life. But back to what I was saying in prison, you know the tier three tickets or tier twos or however many you get get.
Speaker 3:They was always playing that pause you real quick again yeah, is that? Because the audience, I guarantee you they're not gonna know you, you you dropping a lot of jewels, man, they're not gonna know what none of this stuff is. So I'll just pause you for clarification purposes. Man, I hope I don't lose your spot. When you say tier three tickets and tier two tickets, what exactly does that mean in layman's terms for those of us that don't know?
Speaker 2:A tier three ticket is the highest ticket that you can get in reference to the CEO writing you up or some disciplinary infraction. And then it's the gray area too, because you can get a tier three ticket because you at one spot and they let these Nikes in, and then you go to your next spot in the prison. You're in a draft room and the CO like, oh, now I'm going to give you a ticket because you ain't supposed to have these. These aren't yeah. Or you can get a tier three ticket for having certain books in jail One of the books they used to outlaw and I got a tier three ticket for was the 48 laws of power, uh, the art of seduction, and then, um, this book called the seven habits of highly effective people.
Speaker 3:Oh man, yeah, what? Yeah, so certain books, um, that's crazy. Yeah, I ain't gonna lie you, those are some powerful books. I done read those myself. Those are some powerful books. But to put ban on books and then for them to be able to give you a ticket, that sounds a little, that sounds like it's at their discretion number one and number two like that's horrible man, that's a horrible policy to have, because then, like, let's say, a CEO pissed off at you.
Speaker 2:They could just give you a ticket for no reason that time, that that happens all the time like that, that no ticket. You know, you like, like, seriously, you know it's, it's, it's. I'm not gonna put all of them in the same category. Some of these ceos, they're coming back from the military, right, so they probably got that, that war trauma in their head.
Speaker 2:Or upstate new york, and I'm just keeping it real right as one of the racist counties or racist places in the world. And I say that with the analogy of most slaves when we was running for freedom. Right, we're going up north, and so where would the easiest places be to catch runaway slaves would be up north, and this is just an analogy that me and ohae was sitting down thinking about, like, yo, how many prisons they had up here. The prisons was eventually used to capture the slaves who were running. Um, so you got to think about, too, upstate new york. It's mostly all these people who never really seen minorities like that and they get all this bad media from the news thinking that, yo, we're all. This is all. The ceos will tell you oh, you ain't nothing but a crackhead and a purse snatcher. It don't matter what age you is, you'll be a hundred year old man to a young gentleman.
Speaker 2:They're gonna think that you smoke and crack, you're a purse snatcher and you committed some horrible crime see all those stereotypes yes, the stereotypes make them hate you already and then they don't. They don't deal with us because it's a rural area and their job is to house negroes. You know, I mean like yo. Listen, you don't look like me. I'm gonna treat you how I want to treat you and my you, you're, you're my income source yeah, and and not for nothing too.
Speaker 3:A lot of the things that don't get talked about in those situations is the power dynamic too, james right, where it's like a lot of these individuals don't feel like they have a sense of power or control over their life, so what they'll try to do is control your life while you're in there, knowing that you don't have too many options and being able to have outlets.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is definitely true. Like and you see it though it's nonverbal and it's verbal cues in there the abuse of power.
Speaker 3:Yeah, wow. So can you, can you explain, like, just how you? You touched on it a little bit, but I want to hear a little bit more. Man, because that's crazy to be 17 going into, like as you described it, the wolf den Right, like you almost got to you going from young man to you have to be grown man and on top of your stuff or you could fall victim to what are really predators in those. In those situations, not everybody, but a lot of people that are doing long time end up being predators in some way, shape or form in that situation. So so, at 17, man, like, describe that. Like, what was that like to be 17 going into a space with grown men who are looking to prey on you in some way, shape or form?
Speaker 2:Um, I don't know if it's luck or just, um, I don't know if it's luck or just where they sent me. I got caught in New York City, so, um, I had an, a number and everybody around me I didn't know. So I moved like, like aggressively, but also like a tiger, though, like you know what I mean. People see tigers. They normally alone or they don't deal with nobody. They come out when they need to socialize, when they need to, and then they go back to doing what they're doing, and then, at the same time, a lot of people were getting trapped off.
Speaker 2:Before me there's a song by Half a Mill. I can't think of the name right now, but if you listen to his album, it talks about how people are getting bumped off and then disappearing. It'll come to me later on, though, but Half a Mill has his album with Noriega and some and I don't like to use that word so much but Some Niggas Blood and Some Niggas Crip, the one he got with AZ Quiet Money. There's a song on there, but with me, a lot of people was already coming through that transition. So they're like yo, where you from? I'm from Syracuse, oh, you know such and such and people who were coming before me was putting it down. They was repping already, so they was like okay, well shit, he, he from Syracuse he gonna rap just like AYO, but we gonna fall
Speaker 2:back, but we gonna get to know him. Um, give a shout out to this kid Fee. Um, old head, run my way, we call him Ghost. Um, kid Mac and and D-Nark, uh and uh, the kid Drom. They was already came through that process before me. So, drum, they was already came through that process before me. So they kind of like you know me, laid it down and I could kind of slide through. And the first time that I really knew that I was when they sent me to, uh, I don't want to say Sing, sing At 17?.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was not 18, 19, 19, 19.
Speaker 1:At 19, 18, 19.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's still young man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bro, that's.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, sing, sing ain't.
Speaker 3:Nah, I'm not well-versed in prison, but I know that one, yeah, and Sing.
Speaker 2:Sing is a free jail where, like, it's locked down but the inmates control it enough, where you can move freely and shit can happen to you in there. Man, and you got people in there really doing biz, though. Like they got a 73 number One guy we call him Triple OG. He had like a 64 number and I was like, damn yo, you been in jail like since 1964, 1973, 1978.
Speaker 3:And I was like yo damn't, I wasn't even born. Then like just look at those numbers, like that's mind-blowing yeah, and then dudes be in jail so long.
Speaker 2:Right, they could tell how your bop is and references, they could tell your aura or how you move, what kind of character you have, and should they reach out to you and try to educate you, or should they just let you fall back and we call it blocking and just let you be a crash dummy for everything else that's going on in jail? So one of the incidents that really opened my eyes was I go to the movie theater in Sing Sing and I sit down in the spot and the dude was like yo, you can't sit here. And I'm like the fuck you talking about what Fuck I got all this time I'm about to do? And he's like, nah, yo, it's not even like that, right, this dude been sitting here for almost like 15, 18 years and you sitting in the spot. So I sat up and I moved right. I was like damn, he was sitting there that long man.
Speaker 3:I ain't going to play around. Listen, bro. Willing to die for that chair man? Yeah, and then it's for somebody else to recognize like yo.
Speaker 2:nah, I've been here this long and he's been sitting here that long and this is his spot, so just go sit somewhere else. Ah, that cool. And they didn't do it in no disrespectful way. Neither, though, it was like yo. Nah, young blood, don't play yourself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Yeah, Going back to Aurora man they probably felt your vibe man Like nah, this ain't one of those man I mean, we're going to be cool, and so he came in, sat down and I still was playing basketball.
Speaker 2:He kind of came to the court. I was like yo, yeah, they told me to sit on my chair.
Speaker 1:And I thought it was going to be like so he was pressing me.
Speaker 2:He was like nah, it's not even like that, and I could kind of see that you got a head on your. You know what I mean, you're kind of smart with it. He said like that and I see that you work out, you play basketball. And then he was like yo. You know this dude named Fee. I was like Fee who? He was like yo, this kid Fee, up in here. He, from Syracuse too, bumped into Fee and I bumped into this kid named Matt. I knew Matt growing up too. He used to be at the Westwood.
Speaker 2:I was playing ball and he was like, yeah, they in here. You know what I mean from your way, and I'm going to get you pulled out your cell and take you over there to the side, because I was on the B side. I was on the A side but he was getting me pulled over to the B side because he had pulled like that man. I said damn son. So they popped my cell. He came, I went over there, I met them and I kind of knew Matt already. But, fee, I got the no fee and I really seen like how dudes from around the way really be holding it down in there, though man Like yo, yeah. When I say, when I use the word crushing people, I'm talking about like yo, like if it's some drama man, they put the beats on a motherfucker, poke a motherfucker up. It was like yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:It get real.
Speaker 1:It's safe to say it get real in there, yeah.
Speaker 3:And the Syracuse area hold it down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, upstate hold it down Because they used to have that stupid conflict that I used to hate and I hate it now to this day, where it's like upstate New York versus dudes from the city. And I hate that conflict because I got my man, chach Chad. I met him, he from the city, he from Queens actually, and I shot him out. You know, I met him, he fucked with them G-Unit niggas and that's a story about that, yeah. But yeah, I hate that conflict because we all in there, right, and it's upstate versus New York City sometimes, and that conflict is stupid because the people who we really should have an issue with is the ones that's got us locked up in there.
Speaker 2:You got 30-man 90-man dorms, right. You got one CEO punking everybody up in there sometimes, man, and it's like yo, there's 90 of us in here, man, we should be smashing the CEO, demanding this, demanding that. But everybody's mindset ain't the same in there and everybody want to beat somebody Still in reference to still trying to hold on to their street cred, because in jail you don't want to be no victim. But that upstate versus New York is kind of stupid to me and I never really participated in it because I was cool with everybody to an extent.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's tough, man, especially when you, when you got that many people in one area and kind of one centralized location right, it's like we don't. We don't understand the power of unity. You know, I mean and that's not just in a prison situation, that's in general in life man, like a lot of us, don't understand the power of coming together and the impact that that would make in the long run. Man, it's like and I'll personally you want to get me on a soapbox, but I'll personally think that's how society have us set up. Going back to what you said earlier, like that willie lynch letter, yeah, big piece.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean like that's a big piece of it and that's the start of it and I'll forever say like that. That has such an impact on us, especially black people, black and brown people, has such an impact on us, man, that if, if he was alive today, man, he'd probably be celebrating on some real because you know, I mean it was a, it was a it was a flawlessly executed business plan, um, and it sucks, to be honest with you, but it was executed flawlessly and that's why I believe we stay in the spaces that we stay in a lot of times because we don't understand this.
Speaker 3:This society had us set up like this for a long time. But I'm all for that. I know, we, we, we got about a hour of time here, so I I want to, um, I want to first touch on a little bit. Like you you mentioned, like the older gentleman, like was there a mentor relationship there? Or like a mentor dynamic? Like, so they, they felt your vibe and realized you was a cool dude and kind of took you in. Yeah, yeah I forgot.
Speaker 2:I forgot his name it was two of them per se, though, um, and I don't know if he operated under the sense of, uh, the nations of gods and earth god body seven percent most people probably heard that or if he was noi, because in prison, um, gods and earth, they really didn't have a platform, so people used to use the noi platform and reference to be able to meet up and kick knowledge and educate each other. I forgot his name, though. We used to call him Moo, but I forgot what his real name. It was like an African name and he had he had we was in Cape Vincent together, we was in Sing Sing together, and he had some power man because he ran I forgot, like the IG grievance aspect of it, so he was able to move from both sides of the prison.
Speaker 2:But he also had some power because I think a lot of the well, I did know a lot of inmates respected him because he really was on that black power shit, though heavy. And even though he was on some black power shit though you ain't going to violate him too, because he did have his weight up and you're like yo, listen, man, I ain't with this shit.
Speaker 2:You can be who you want to be, though, right, but as a black man, we ain't going to address each other like that.
Speaker 2:But if you take it to that level, then you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I've already got a rep and put that work in, but it was a few other mentors too, because I was in the law library heavy too, because I told you I had a, I caught a bid, I had a life sentence it was seven to life so I used to go to the law library trying to appeal my case, trying to appeal my sentence, and the older gentlemen in the law library, you used to be like, okay, damn, this dude, he ain't one of these young cats that just want to go do their bit and don't worry about their legal work and shit.
Speaker 2:He ain't worried around trying to get high, chasing a bag, trying to be fly on the visiting floor, and then I used to ask him, like, how do I even get in college in here too, though, or how do I have it? Because having a GED in prison wasn't enough for me. It was like yo'all was sort of stagnated, and I was trying to get in college outside of prison before I even went to prison too, though, but there was no, no, um, no avenue, because I didn't know nobody who went to college.
Speaker 3:Um right oh.
Speaker 2:I got you off my back. But when I came home there was like this this, this gap that was being bridged and that's how I ended up for the education. But prior to to that, uh, as I mentioned, most dudes in prison they were self-taught and you just sit down. I'm like, no damn, he's smart. And they did have college in prison prior to me getting there. But they they stopped that because they seen a lot of dudes wasn't coming back. The benefits of it was, oh damn, we helping these dudes out. Now we need to come back. So we're gonna stop it so they can still be our source of income instead of absolutely.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. Man, they had, they cut that one, they had to cut that one boy. They realized yeah, we ain't getting the return that we thought we was gonna get they had.
Speaker 1:So I had to cut that one.
Speaker 3:Dope Nah man. So I love hearing that man. So it sounds like the OGs of the prison recognizes that you, uh, you had a. You was different, number one, but you had that drive and you where, it was like you, you wasn't just a regular inmate, somebody just coming into a bed, somebody coming in there to turn up so speak you, you have purpose and you was driven to do some stuff outside of prison. Yeah, yeah, nice, nice, nice. Um, how did those relationships develop with those ogs, like how long? Like how long were they with you? Did you spend long periods of time with them?
Speaker 2:yeah, I was in like 11 different spots. I was always being in trouble all the time though, like um, getting those pair three tier two tickets, but, um, it developed like you know, like if you see some, I'll play ball. Um, I ain't gonna say I was the nicest, but I was good enough to know when I go to the gym I'm gonna pick me, you know me, and I was also working out shit heavy in there too. And then the law library was another reason, and then I used to just like I learned how to play chess, but I used to sit back and I used to hear the gods talking. So, you know, I used to like be in air shop Like damn they talking that shit that I like to hear, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:And then I'd be like yo listen what's hear. Like you know what I mean. And then I'll be like yo listen what's that. Well, you know. I mean they break down the mathematics and they're like yo, here, go book, and they test you or oh has, test you, like yo, what my book at you read it and oh yeah, so okay, now we see that he ain't no dummy. You know what I mean. And then they hear you at night on your typewriter doing your legal work. So so you're looking like what the fuck this motherfucker like? He ain't no young dummy in here, man. He ain't got a typewriter. He going to law library on the call all the time. Yeah.
Speaker 3:So you impressed the hell out of him, man.
Speaker 2:You impressed the hell out of the old head. Yeah, but it was more or less. I had something different. I didn't want to be in prison. Neither, though, and you know, when you don't want to be there, sometimes people gravitate to help you get out of there too.
Speaker 3:That's dope, man, that's dope man. Young brothers, if you're listening to this man number one, you don't want to go to prison, but if you do, man let's just be real man. If you do man like, let's just be real man. If you do, man, make sure you connect with somebody who older and wiser man that's the reality is man, that's how you, that's how you able to function. But then also, don't just sit there, man. Don't just sit around in prison, man. Do your best to better yourself and get up out of there. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Definitely Learn something while you're in there, because they got a few books and then they got, like I said though I'm not disrespecting them, call them old heads or nothing like that, we just call them OGs or call them by their name but they got people in there with books that can help you really expand your knowledge outside of the prison walls. Don't just go in there and read all these hood books that they throwing all around. What's that one I read, man, that they throwing all around? What's that one I read, man? I have a few whole books in there that I read, but I don't like them because all they kept promoting is the same stuff that really brought me to the black media mogul. What's that like the tubu? Oh, we're all drug lords. We got 2,500 kilos. Gang, gang, shoot them up. I'm going to sell more keys.
Speaker 3:And I was like yo, these books are stupid as shit. Man, I don't want to be reading these books. Man, like they dumb, like that's what I'm saying. Violent cells, man, they sell yeah, you know I mean. It's all about propaganda, man. Trying to, trying to wrap your mind around it, man and then, um, this dude named green eyes.
Speaker 2:There's a thousand Green Eyes in jail, but this dude Green Eyes, he was from Queens and he, his case, was like no funny shit. He was like on a pimp. He was like a pimp, pimps in real life, no more man. And I read his paper where I was like, yeah, he was a pimp, but it's New Age pimping going on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you already know that man. It don't look the same. It ain't the 70s and 80s, no more man. So he used to be reading all these Donald Ghosn books. But he was schooling me like yo.
Speaker 2:When you read the book, though, right, read the book and see what's the message, because yo, this pimp shit, I'm done with that. And the books really was like yo, how we were trying to escape, like Superfly and all that stuff. We sit back and you watch that like damn yo. They were really trying to change the narrative of the ghetto lifestyle. Sometimes in these books it wasn't always about being a whole superstar, and it was another book I used to read too. I read Nathan McCall Make Me Want to Holler but it was another author, though, and it took place around the like 70s era, 60s era, and his book was about finding what happened. He was basically like a hood detective, but it was more or less. I'm not bringing was more or less I'm not bringing the police, or I'm not getting the police involved. We're gonna try to solve this matter on our own. And if I had to bring street justice, then that's what it is so he was like the police community on his own or a group of
Speaker 3:individuals. Okay, dope, dope, alright, so tell me a little bit. I want to talk. I want to talk about the prison relationship piece. I want to get into that. Like, how does that? What can you explain to the audience, like the difficulty of being in a prison relationship and your experiences with prison relationships? Um, because, like I said, I I'm obviously a novice, I don't know too much, but I know gentlemen that I've talked to, that, I've engaged with that, I've even coached in some way, shape or form, that have had prison relationships. In a lot of cases that has not worked out. Um, because they, when they were inside a prison, obviously you, you live one life, but then when you come outside, it's a whole different world out there. Man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, before I go into that, I'm going to touch on a story that I know. So most people, just to be real, most people if you have a girl and she's on the outside, she's free. Most chicks they hold it down. Some chicks they hold it down but they do got a friend who they deal with on the side. And if you're one of those chicks, or if you're the guy that's dealing with a female who has a boyfriend, make sure that she answers the phone, send those letters, send that package. You know what I mean, because it is difficult. But when the dude calls, you know what I mean, because it is difficult. But when the dude call and you, over there, make sure she pick up the phone. She ain't screaming, though.
Speaker 3:You heard um that's some real inside knowledge for y'all right now authentic yeah, yes, um, you know what I mean, because it's two.
Speaker 2:It's two aspects of the prison relationship. One of the ones that I've witnessed was the revolutionary relationship where old heads, they was getting locked up and their mindset changed. Anyone particular who was involved in a black panther party movement but him and his girlfriend or his wife they didn't get married, was like yo. The reason why I'm holding it down is because I understand the struggles of being a black man in this country. I understand, uh, the spook who set by this door mindset. So when we get up out of here we have a whole different. We have a whole different ball game. And then there's the present aspect or present relationship of of some of our younger generation, our newer generation, even my generation. We just doing this bed with this, we just check, or this girl trying to get through, and sometimes we don't have a complete game plan, like the old heads had the game plan.
Speaker 3:But, as I mentioned, yeah, my guy ain't getting off that, answer that phone. Yeah, my guy ain't getting off that. Answer that phone.
Speaker 2:Go visit that man yo, you know I was not expecting that.
Speaker 3:That's funny, man, that was a good one, that was a good one. Um, number one don't don't my man serious though, make sure you you go visit that man. He told me off off camera that he it definitely get lonely in, man, so make sure you go visit. Was that second relationship, though, where you said, like sometimes, gentlemen don't have a game plan? And actually when you said that, it kind of clicked for me too, which that's why you would struggle. Right, if you're in a relationship while you're in prison, you don't have a game plan. You come to the crib and now, all of a sudden, the female is expecting the same version of you and you who you was again in prison. You don't have, you ain't had no game plan. You was just trying to have a pen pal or a friend. Now you home, you got all these options available to you. Man, it's hard.
Speaker 2:It's hard to remain that person yeah, um, when you keep, I'm trying to see where I'm gonna start. At first I'm going to start backwards though, because I'm answering the question. When you get out right, when you go to prison, you'll be all skinny and frail, whatever. But you come home you got that glow box, you got your weight up. You've been gone for a few years, so you ain't been fucking. You know what I mean. And so chicks is like yo damn. I heard about those stories about dudes coming home how they be beating it up.
Speaker 2:So everybody want to sample. Everybody want to sample because because it's like the new dude on the block again, um. And then they know that, that, that, that, that, that, um, that you ain't been dealing with no other chicks in reference to having a physical intimate relationship. And also sometimes they know that when you come home you will be loyal to that person, whoever you're dealing with. But the difficulty of that is women flock to you, they're throwing themselves at you sexually and you haven't been sexual with anybody. So you're like yo damn, I'm going to sample this.
Speaker 3:I'm going to sample that. It's a different level of attention coming your way now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and without no self-control or discipline. And we have the societal rule that the more men who sleep with all these women. You're the guy, you're him.
Speaker 3:you're it, you're, you're him you're speak on it, brother, speak on it man and we especially like I don't know if I won't say especially us because sometimes I get a lot of people give me a hard time, like black dudes don't only experience this, but for real man, like when you, when you're in those situations I don't think people really understand that man. You know what? I when? It's just like some people really just don't understand how hard it is when you get in that level of attention.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and most of the time, too, when you're home, when you're fresh home, you're single, so it's like, okay, well, listen, I'm dealing with you, but I'm not really dealing with you because of our personal relationship. It was like yo, man, it is what it is. I had these expectations. Expectations lead to disappointment, and you ain't really hold it down like my expectations was. And men got to realize that too, though that when you go in, you give your all. If she's being faithful, cool, she's not. Then have that understanding, because, shit, you locked up and she was already getting 25 dudes in her inbox. Now you locked up, it's like yo, 100 dudes in her inbox and, shit, she probably want to get her beam flipped or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, listen, man listen it being flipped or something. Yeah, listen, man, listen.
Speaker 3:It's human nature, man it's human, yes, human nature, yes, especially if you used to get in, like sexual attention, I guess, I would say, or attention, for that matter, and and a lot of days like nowadays, it's just attention, like saying hi or texting, like that level of attention when you used to get in, that it's hard when you do go away or your woman go away. Now you you're not getting that level of attention. You can't be with them literally, physically, um, as often as you used to. So that it's hard, man, and it's human nature for people to dabble man. And I know that people don't like to keep it real, but yeah, I know we keep it real on a quality of love podcast yeah, yeah, so know.
Speaker 2:But on a personal note, personal relationships right, they're difficult because of the time a person is doing. When I mentioned time, I'm talking about like we don't get these short bids. I'm going to go do six months in the county. I'm talking about years In the beginning. You know we write each other pen pal and you come in and visit me and you begin to drift off after a few years because either you do have somebody out there that you're dealing with and it's understandable, or the financial burden of being in a present relationship where I'm making eight cents an hour, right, and then I'm calling you twice a day phone five hundred dollars a month. You like your shit, and then you want me to bring you 35 pounds of food or you want me to send you money.
Speaker 2:So the financial burden, especially coming from, um, our community, where our funds and that's just being real, like we don't have the same financial, financial means as our caucasian counter partners or whoever else that's out there competing with us on just a financial level.
Speaker 2:So the financial burden really puts a strain on a relationship. And then the time apart not being able to physically touch that person, or when you go to visit this person and the COs are asking you to strip down and putting your girl through this process of yo take your bra off. And it's like my sister came to visit me one time and I respected her man. It's like my sister came to visit me one time and I respected she's like yo, I can't come back and visit you because the way that I felt they was like groping me and touching me and frishing me and shit like that. Right, as a female I just couldn't do it no more. But she used to pick up the phone and shit and I was like, yeah, I respect it because my sister's like imagine, even in a free world, if somebody just like doing your sister like that you're going to go ballistic, right, right.
Speaker 2:In a system where you know they don't even like us and they they doing your sisters like that man.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 2:Your mother, your girl your daughter.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's an aspect that that people don't think about Like cause. I mean again, again, I've I've visited people in prison, um, but not to the extent where, where someone had like searched, or had you take off my bra or anything to that nature, right, so it it becomes violation, right, like yeah, so we're talking about the burden of violation, we're talking about the financial burden, we're talking about the burden of not being able to be physically touched. Man, damn, this is deep. This is deep. I appreciate you sharing this level of information, man.
Speaker 2:This is deep. And then with prison relationships right, I'm trying to think back. Like one of the scenarios I had personally was I told you I had a seven of life. And when you say, when you say seven life, people like, oh damn, he got life, so he's not coming home. But then you, you get that, that glimmer of hope where you're like, okay, they gave me work release, they got me giving my good time back, so you, you got your pen pal, girlfriend, whoever, however you want to label that person you're dealing with. You're like yo, I'm getting ready to come home. And they're like cool, okay. So then when you go to a working week review board, they're like, oh no, you got denied. And they're like, damn, we got life. He didn't really come home. So they go back to doing them.
Speaker 2:And personally, I was talking to this lady and I had a childhood crush on her, so her brother was locked up with me. He had a bed too, and in jail, right, you don't never ask another man to communicate with their significant other either, it be their moms, their sisters, something like that. Like, that's just like something you just don't do. I don't know, that's like a non-spoken code of law.
Speaker 3:I'm ran rule, I'm ran rule that you don't do something like that yeah, like yo you hook me up with your sister, like, like no, no, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but um, yeah, I had like a childhood crush on her when we was growing up and then you know me and her brother was really cool and we both knew that they changed a lot. We've been ready to come home. So, like yo, um, and then I wanted to talk to her sister because she was already in college, um, and so my mind was trying to figure out how to even get to college from prison and then trying to live a college experience through her um, and it wasn't like, oh, let me try to bag your sister. It was like yo, intellectually, I need to sharpen my still. So what are you learning in school, what you doing and all that um, and and so I don't know, I kind of like mustered up the strength like yo, listen, um, I see your sister down there.
Speaker 2:You know, we all grew up together, we know each other. Yo, um, can I get her information? Like yo, how the fuck? Like you know me? Like you said, like, and I was like, because you know you had to be like, I had to tiptoe that question- yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's on, rare rule, man listen yeah.
Speaker 2:And so he was like, yeah, um, she started writing me and stuff and we started off, as I mentioned, the whole college thing, like yo, tell me what it's like, because I never experienced it. And then, what assignments are you working on? Send them to me and let me see if I could do them and let me see where I'm at intellectually when it comes to this college stuff. And then over time it built into a relationship where it was like, okay, you coming to visit me? Oh, instead of a friendly visit, now it became more or less like oh, I get a kiss, I get a hug, yeah.
Speaker 3:A little more risky visit eh, just a friendly visit a little more risky.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it turned into like a courtship, right, and that kind of made my my prison bed a little more easier at the time, because at one point I was doing my bed, I was like, yo, I ain't dealing with nobody, because and I'm just gonna keep it real right, like and I'm not saying that in a funny way People do their bit how they want to do their bit. I was like yo, I'm young, I ain't dealing with nobody, right? First of all, I know how chicks be out there in the world and I'm not disrespecting no female, because I was sometimes a guy. They're like put the phone call up, man, don't be screaming at that dude. I mean so just keeping it real.
Speaker 2:The other aspect of it is you go on a visit, right, and you come back with blue balls. We in prison system man, I ain't trying to leave my visit with blue balls or I ain't trying to be mentally bogged down thinking that, oh, she keeping it real, she fucking with somebody, something like that. So early on in my biz, right then I had, um, a person I was dealing with too, though, where it was like yo, shit, um, oh, you just want to be real, keep it real with me because you want to do all that jail time anyway oh man, she told you that yeah damn yeah, talk about a truth like she ain't.
Speaker 3:She ain't holding nothing back there. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:She's like nah, I'll do all the necessary stuff, but we ain't taking it to that level. You know what I mean. I was like that cool. So yeah, back to the story where I was talking to my man's sister right, she used to come visit me and stuff and it got real when it was like yo, I'm going to get paroled to your crib, my father bringing you up here to visit me. You're going to visit my father Because my father was old when I was doing my bed. So she was really checking on my father's health, really making sure that he was all right.
Speaker 2:Because I thought I'm real, I thought he was all right, because I thought I'm real, I thought I was uh, here's my pass away while I was doing my bed. You know what I mean because I was, I was, I was, I was in prison doing what I supposed to do. But at the same time, uh, I had that revolutionary um spirit in me where, oh, co, you violated me. I'm about to write you up. Try to get you about this post, try to get you, try to get inspector general up here. Try to just bring the heat to your ass. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they probably definitely wasn't feeling you on that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so they used to come in. Come into my cube, do a cell search. Oh, you got blue boots. You got some Jordans. You got Nikes, I'm sending you to the box. Oh, you got all this amount of food I'm sending you, I'm writing you up. Box oh, you got all this amount of fool I'm sending you, I'm writing you up. And so it was like. You know. That's why I've been to 11 different spots because they had trashed me and they'll try to get me up out of jail because I was smoking the seals up out of there.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean hey you with that retaliation man. They say oh, whoa, whoa, we got one on our hands, man.
Speaker 2:We gotta get him out of here, man yeah, yeah he goes and we go yeah, um, so I get get a tier three ticket. I'm on the next thing, packing up.
Speaker 3:Listen, man, you're a problem man. We don't want that issue.
Speaker 2:And so I was writing her right and I told her yo, I'm getting ready to come home, I work with these, and on the back end, you know, you could kind of sense something was wrong and I guess she didn't want to tell me that she was dealing with somebody. And I was like yo, man, I'm such a realist when it comes to this relationship thing and understanding what it is to be free and dealing with somebody locked up, because old heads used to school me about that stuff Because they had wives who they were married 10, 15 years. I'm talking about he doing this big. He got 20, 50, 100 years in this, but they've been married and he's like yo, yeah, she stepped out a few times on me, but I got to realize that where I'm at and where she's at, this stuff happens. But as long as y'all able to keep that bond and work on shit, then you know what I mean. It's going to go.
Speaker 2:But sometimes as young adults we can't communicate that and the moral of the story is that I was digging her enough where I was like, yo, yeah, we're going to make something happen right. And so she was dealing with somebody else and she ended up getting pregnant. You know what I mean. That communication kind of stopped and she had a baby, yeah, else, and she ended up getting pregnant. You know, I mean that communication kind of stopped and she had a baby, yeah. And then and I was like yo, I'm about to come home, but communication stopped. I was like damn, and you know like we'll talk like like several months later I ended up coming home and I was like you see, like only if you, would have waited you.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, right, but she already was two years in on that bid and remember we were still young so I understood it, but I was like damn, you know what I mean. That was supposed to be my kid. Possibly we were supposed to really work this out. You're going to visit my pops my pops he give you access to to and, as men you know, when you just give a female access to your finances, you like your shit. Like you, my girl now like that's something that we don't do yeah, that's a tough one man, oh, that's tough, yeah.
Speaker 3:So how did that? How did that end up working out? Like what would end up happening, like what's it? You can't leave us on no cliffhanger on that one, james man damn okay, so.
Speaker 2:So after, after um, it got back to me that she was having a baby, I reached out to her like yo, you know. I mean like yo, I'm not upset at you or not, like that um, and before this happened we was friends. Anyways, though, you know what I mean and I'm conscious enough to understand that I wasn't there physically. You're coming to visit me, right, and we doing all this touchy-feely stuff up in here. You know what I mean. Yeah, I'm touching you, you soaking wet. You send me back with blue balls shit that I didn't want, right and then you going home and you got some dude who keeps sweating you. How long did you try and get with you? You're like shit, I'm gonna give in one day. Then, man, and shit happens you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I hear you. I hear you.
Speaker 2:Human nature, man, human nature and so we, um, after I reached out, I told her, like yo, let's just really just be cool friends, you know I mean um, like I'm not when I come home. I'm not expecting to be intimate with you trying to fix anything like that, because she wasn't dealing with the dude, no more. Um, I really just enjoyed your company while I was doing my bit, because you, you made it easier than what it was prior to that, because you do get lonely in there. You do see your boys going down on a visit or see these chicks in there. You try not to reckless eyeball because that's somebody else's woman. You're like, damn, she's a cubs fuck.
Speaker 2:I just look, but I'm not disrespecting you. But do she got sisters? She got cousins? I'm her brother out mean, I'm just. I just look, but I'm not disrespecting you. Right, right, right, but do?
Speaker 3:she got sisters, she got cousins right and I'm her brother and I'm in here too. That's like yo, I'm in here too, bro yo and then you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Um, we get into these mediums, in some of these camps where, or even in the maxes where they got high school visits and some of these mediums, you can slide off like yo, man, I'm about to retire in four months, man, I don't care, man, go ahead, take her down on the side you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Don't get us in trouble, so you're like damn you see it now all going on all around you. You're like dang man. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you did so, did. Did she ever get back to you Like so did that? Did that ever become a friendship beyond that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, ashley did Nice. And they do. They do them good. Her daughter speaks like three languages. Yo yo, I ain't from mass smart man, but the moms, the man, I'm going to go to the mother and stuff, I know the mother too, I'm going to go to the mother and stuff.
Speaker 1:I know the mother too.
Speaker 2:The mother was highly intelligent already. Then the daughter who I was talking to was super smart, because when I was going to school with her too, I was like yo, let me look at your paper, let me get your answer.
Speaker 3:Let me get your homework and stuff like that. That's some genetics, man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And then the daughter. I talked to the daughter a few times and then she was telling me like all this stuff. I was like, yeah, man, and her brother was smart too, though you know what I mean? Yeah, he was just, we both was just caught up in the wrong activities because, shit, when we came home we connected a few times trying to do some business, ventureship, but yeah, and, like I mentioned, though, she's a good person Things just didn't work out because we didn't have that discipline and we came up in a different time zone, in reference to relationship wise, like if we would have came up in like the seventies or the eights probably, where we understood that having a commitment and a bond in the prison system is very powerful, reference to building our community, and not that this new era where we're thinking about sexy red and that type of uh mentality where what you gonna do for me, or or what, what else, is another one, um, the other era where we had uh, I don't want to say too much, like little kim fox brown, but that, that, that, that, that, that nasty mentality of shit.
Speaker 3:I'm just gonna be out here doing me, yeah, yeah yeah, where things, things, over time, became extra sexualized, yeah, yeah, absolutely hyper sexualized. For sure I would agree with that. I would agree with that for sure, definitely. Um, okay, any other? I would love to uh like is there any other gems I guess I would ask you to share in terms of prison relationship, because you hit us with a few of them, man, where, if, if you, if you, that side, do make sure you answering that phone call? Um, so a lot of jett. You said gentlemen got, got they. They don't have a game plan when they're in prison relationships, so women and the gentlemen need to understand that as well. Um, I love those gems. Um, and then you said expectations. What did you say I want?
Speaker 2:expectations leads to disappointment expectations lead to disappointment there we go.
Speaker 2:So if you're expecting your girl to be loyal and you let because they're giving us numbers now, oh, you're getting 20 flat, 18 flat and you're expecting her to really do this long bid. I only know one chick man. I know that this dude probably got like 40, 50 years in the system, son I. This dude probably got like 40, 50 years in the system, son. I'm serious, and I ain't never hear if she be holding it down. I ain't gonna put her name out there, but man, he an old head from around my way. He got a couple beds in. It's like damn yo and she held it down for him Like yo. I'm talking about from every aspect of it, man, from the good to the bad. Shout out to them, man.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, for sure, shit man.
Speaker 3:No joke, that ain't no joke, man yeah.
Speaker 2:But the game plan is if you're dealing with somebody in prison, right, the men and the females have to have the expectations that it's going to get rocky because society doesn't make it easy for us in regards to let's just deal with the color of our skin, and then we have this war going on between the two genders, male and female, that they have been promoting, and the game plan is, I guess, to find somebody who you can get cool with on a friendship level or even on a commitment level, and then build each other, really talk about stuff that no one really going to talk about in your relationship.
Speaker 2:Like yo, what do you want to do when you come home, understanding especially that when you come home, you got a felony? So I'm a woman, I don't have a felony, right, I can't just be doing a mediocre job in reference to career-wise oh, I'm just going to be and I'm not shitting on, for lack of a better term shit now, the, the, the, the, the, the career field that I choose to use an analogy in reference to what I'm about to say. You can't just be a female working in retail with no dreams of being a manager, knowing that you got a guy with felony, you can't be. What is it like? A CNA? Or I don't know how to go.
Speaker 3:Cna rn lpn something like that lpn, yep, yep, cna, lpn and then rn so you can't just have those mediocre, comfortable jobs right.
Speaker 2:And your boyfriend got a felony because it's going to be hard for him to find a career when he comes home and you're going to have to hold it down. See, in prison it was kind of easier because he had three houses and a car and he didn't need clothes, food, shelter and all that stuff.
Speaker 3:And so that goes back to that financial commitment, too that you was talking about earlier, understanding that these relationships have a heavy financial commitment associated with them too.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and and y'all have to uh, motivate each other. You're gonna have to realize that, yo, when you, and he's gonna be having to talk to you about career opportunities, when he come home, because there's no outlet for this guy with this felony um and, and he's gonna be asking to say, okay, well, listen right, I need you to go to school, become a RN or LPN. You know what I mean Not work in this factory, because that's the only job I'm going to get to. You know what I mean and I'm going to help put you through school. You're going to work probably 60 hours a week, 40 hours a week, to help take care of our household or even help us as a unit, because you're going to think I'm coming home and most people females think, oh, when he come home, he's going to be lit, he's going to go back to the streets, he's going to start hustling again and I'll be taken care of, and all you're going to do is set that man up to go to go back to prison.
Speaker 2:One of the experiences I had, yeah, how I went back, where I had a game plan, like I said, said I was around all these older gentlemen and my game plan was to come home and go to school and all this. But then in that same process, right, I realized yo shit, man, it's just hard out here. Let me do a flip here, flip there and get enough money to fall back from the game. And then that process the flip here, flip there turns into okay, let me get one more, one more. And then that last one. You're like, okay, I'm about to fall back, I'm about to quit, and you get locked up. You're like what the fuck?
Speaker 2:I was just doing this shit because I was trying to get to I mean, personally I was doing it small scholarship, but it wasn't enough because it's only going to pay for school. But what about food?
Speaker 3:Right, right your livelihood. How are you going to live?
Speaker 2:Work-study. They tell them I'm paying you $8 an hour. I remember work-study man, that was horrible man.
Speaker 1:A certain amount of hours, man, what was it?
Speaker 3:15 hours or something like that. Right yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was horrible man.
Speaker 3:That's yo man. Yo, that was a hustle man. They was getting free labor out of people. Man and work-study man.
Speaker 2:That was grimy and also too, with the prison relationships right, having a child I didn't personally have a child, but I used to hear the stories of dudes and they just be like damn man, came back to the cell, they kicking it and they talking about how they left their family out there and they was trying to provide for their family but they ended up catching a bid. So now the daughter is becoming who she's becoming, the baby. Mom or wife can't control the daughter. She's rebelling. Your son, he's going to end up in there with you.
Speaker 2:So it's a lot of different aspects of that prison relationship that probably we could touch on a different level, where I personally didn't go through the child aspect of it. But I used to be around a lot of old heads and they used to just like, I guess, vent to me because I reflected who they were and sometimes maybe even their sons. They just be like you know what I mean Like like you remind me of my son. I'm trying to talk to this dude. Give me, give me what young people think about out there. You know what I mean, so I could reach this guy yeah, they were trying to get some insight from you.
Speaker 3:Man, that's dope man. That's dope man, that's dope. That's dope that man. We definitely gonna have to touch on that on another episode, man, because I definitely want you to come back, but before we go, I heard you got something cooking up something about a book or something like that. Yeah, yeah, tell the people about that man, you gotta get your little shout outs in there.
Speaker 2:Okay, before I start, I am looking for some people to help me with the book cover and even help me with some of the artwork for the book. It's called Tech Sisters, tech Sisters.
Speaker 3:Anybody. I heard my man looking for some help, so don't forget to hit the inbox and send us some of the information man he looking for. Help, yeah.
Speaker 2:I did a book called Tech Sisters. Yeah, and it's about because we don't really get exposure to technology in our community like that. Be gone. Yeah, and that's one of the things where I got a cousin and he's really into IT and I was like, how do you?
Speaker 1:get into that. You know what I mean, because we don't see that we get basketball music and go do some manual labor work.
Speaker 2:And IT is normally geared towards our partner partners, right? So he broke it down to me and I was like damn yo, I'm going to write a book where I can try to get the kids' minds to expose themselves and go seek technology, because that's the new wave right now in reference to everything.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man, steam is on fire right now. Man, yes, everything.
Speaker 2:You got to get an oil change. You got to do something with technology. The color of the paint on your walls in your house got something to do with technology. All of that. You know what I mean? The food you eat and anything. Yeah, so tech sisters. Um, there's a book coming out. It's already written and finished, but what's needed is the, the artwork for the book. Um, and it's about maybe 15 photos. Um, my information is gerardholdingsllc at yahoocom. That's j-uU-R-O-D-H-O-L-D-I-N-G-S L-L-C at yahoocom. That's my email. That's how you can reach me. I'm not too much on social media right now. My boy told me I need to step it up real quick.
Speaker 3:Listen, y'all make sure y'all hit his email up too and tell up man. I was telling him he's playing man. He need to step that social media up. That's where everybody go nowadays.
Speaker 2:But in the meantime, I told him I'll have y'all flood his social media and he goes and he get that information over to me. But yes, it's Tech Sisters and the book is from ages 3 to about 10. So it's going to be written in that age group. Okay, nice.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Where they can read it, and if they can't read it, they can look at the photos and create the narrative of what the story is about, right, or parents.
Speaker 3:Y'all get out there and read it to them, man, because we need it.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, we need this so much in our community.
Speaker 3:Man need to be honest.
Speaker 2:A school that starts at home.
Speaker 3:Word. It's all hands on deck, mm-hmm. Let me get that email address one more time for the people, james.
Speaker 2:Gerard Holdings LLC, that's J-U-R-O-D, h-o-l-d-i-n-g-s, l-l-c at Yahoocom.
Speaker 3:He looking to collaborate man, Send him some artwork. Send him some information of your people that do artwork. He partner, he looking to partner on this one? Yeah, because I got.
Speaker 2:I got a few books that's already written, but texas is going to be the first book that comes out. And also, if you out there doing community outreach work, uh, hit me up too as well. Uh, definitely trying to get in, get, get more into the outreach field, because I do have a story to tell, a reference to trying to get our younger generation away from that prison lifestyle, that street lifestyle, thinking that that's the avenue to take, where it's cool, because I've realized as I mentioned, I've been driving trucks that the same money that you can make with a career and live free is the same money that you can make in the streets, and so the transition needs to be the streets alone, because you're going to go, sit down and all that money that you was making, they're going to take it from you anyways and use that on our next police raid to lock somebody else up.
Speaker 3:You know, what I mean.
Speaker 2:That's a fact, yeah, and yeah, and then now I've been meeting other positive men who have careers that give them the same lifestyle as a street person, but they don't engage in those activities.
Speaker 1:You know what?
Speaker 3:I mean you may look at them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you may look at him and think, oh, he's hustling or something like that, but nah, he's in the IT, he got some type of specialized trade or skill that he's using and it's not on the street stuff. You know what I mean and that's what I really need to preach to our youth that yo and you don't make the same type of money because old head broke it down to me in jail one time.
Speaker 2:Man, real quick, he's like yo. When I was out there, man 70s, we was making millions of dollars. Man In the 80s, I talked to him, he's like yo, we make a couple hundred thousand. 90s, y'all make a couple thousand. Now, 2000 era, man, y'all probably making $5,000, man, the whole year man, that's a yo y'all risking 25, 50 years for this shit man, and it's not worth it.
Speaker 3:It's below minimum wage man.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like I said, it wouldn't. When you factor in the risk, it's below minimum wage. That's a fact. Man, james, man, I can't tell you how much I appreciate these gems, eddie. Anything else before we send the people home that you want to share, yeah, Um, yeah, um, it's about relationships in reference to um having that full-blown conversation.
Speaker 2:it could be because I've been I haven't explored, but I've been hearing a lot about how we are practicing relationships according to and I don't know how to say this, but, for lack of better terms in relation to our American history or living in America, and there's other avenues of relationships that people are exploring.
Speaker 2:One of the things I want to speak on real fast I do have the Islamic side of my family, where he has three wives, but it's not what people think though.
Speaker 2:Those wives all have specialized roles in his life though, but that's because he practiced that religion, he practiced that belief, however you want to call it.
Speaker 2:But then I know a friend who has two significant others who he deal with, but that that's on a different basis though. So, when you speak to someone and you're going to go into that committed relationship, have that talk with that person, though from finances to where they're at, education-wise education to where you're at maybe dealing with a felony, because I know that was part of the struggles and relationships I had, where um having a felony and wanting to be a provider and not getting the jobs that I desired because of that and women dealing with me because they're thinking, oh he, he's going back to that street life, I'm just gonna sit around and wait, and he can get that bag again and realizing that's not my angle, no more, right? Um, so that that's where the things to touch on, right there and changing the narrative of our community. Man for real, like I hate, I'm going to keep and I I'm not missing the words I hate that street shit. Now, though, like for real man, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:That's a trap man.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:They don't call it the trap, for no reason.
Speaker 2:For real. And if you got somebody around you that's engaged in those activities, man, pull them up Like, yeah, nah, don't do that, don't do that. You know what I mean. Let's find something else. We could get some type of business venture going on or something like that to get away from that man. Because I sat down for a while, man, I know dudes who sat down over to me, but that bed that sat me down, man, it made me think about, like I said, I love my father to death, that he's gonna die if I was locked up. Still good thing that it didn't happen, I mean, and just missing out on life, like the time I spent in there, from the age from where I went to when I was released, I could have really did something with a college degree man or even a skilled trade man. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:So what are you saying? Young gentlemen, old gentlemen, anybody, gentlemen and women, man, listen, it ain't worth it. All that street stuff that people be talking about and glorifying is not worth it because it, ultimately, is a trap.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we got to build our community bond, for this is a team sport out here, man, where you look just like me. Let's work together, because they're working together against us.
Speaker 3:They live enough incomes.
Speaker 2:They live enough our income because we keep spending our money over there and they're living off their own income as well too.
Speaker 3:Absolutely 100, 100 for sure, for sure. Thank you again, james. Man, I appreciate you coming on. We gotta have you on in the future. Man, you gotta come update us on them, tech sisters and that tech, anything else you got going on, man I appreciate it to the audience.
Speaker 3:Uh, yeah, I got his information. I will make sure I'll uh, I'll get it from him as well and I'll put it in the description so you'll have that. You're able to contact and reach, reach out to James to assist him, to holla at him to get his perspective, any of that. Like you said, he's also doing community advocacy. So holla at him. As you always know, hit us up if you got any questions about relationship, narcissism, all that good stuff. We're back on with another season and always remember the quality of love and relationships that you have in your life will determine the quality of your life. Peace and love everybody. Peace.