The Quality of Love Podcast
The Quality of Love Podcast is a space where we empower individuals in toxic relationships with narcissists to transform their relationships into positive ones by providing valuable insights, practical tools, and helpful resources through a podcast.
Hosted by Podcast Magazine's 2022 40 Under 40 Winner, Tyrone Dixon.
The Quality of Love Podcast
Community, Education, and Fatherhood: A Journey with James Williams
Can a single individual ignite meaningful change within a community? Join us for a deeply moving conversation with James Williams, affectionately known as Bug, as he recounts his inspiring journey from growing up in the challenging neighborhoods of Syracuse to becoming the Community Engagement Manager for Blueprint 15.
Listen to James's heartfelt stories about his unwavering commitment to addressing power dynamics and racial issues, drawing on his experiences with the Promise Zone and the Syracuse City School District. James's passion for his community and his vision for positive action over mere words provides a compelling narrative on the power of dedication and genuine connection to one's roots.
Ever wondered how teachers manage to create a supportive classroom environment amidst significant external challenges? In this insightful chapter, we explore the parallels between teachers and coaches, delving into the importance of understanding students' diverse backgrounds and the systemic issues that impact their education.
Through engaging discussions, we highlight the need for empathy, adaptability, and collaborative relationships between educators and families. Hear personal anecdotes about the transformative impact educators can have on young lives and the critical skill sets required to navigate the evolving landscape of the teaching profession, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Fatherhood brings about profound responsibilities and life lessons, and in this episode, James and I share our personal journeys of balancing parenthood with community engagement. We reflect on the importance of being present and involved in our children's lives, breaking the cycle of absentee parenting, and fostering open communication.
James also shares his experiences organizing community events and initiatives, emphasizing the fulfillment derived from collective efforts to support those in need. Concluding with a heartfelt exchange on the significance of genuine connections and future collaborations, this episode is a tribute to the enduring bonds of family and the power of community spirit.
Your quality of love = Your quality of life #Peace&Love
you're listening to the quality of love podcast, your home for all things love, relationship and mental health, hosted by nationally certified life and relationship coach, tyrone dixon. Sit back, relax and get tips on creating the life you deserve without wasting any more time.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Quality and Love Podcast. I am your host, tyrone Dixon, nationally certified life and relationship coach, husband, father to two beautiful princesses and CEO and founder of A Road Through Concrete Consulting. Thank you all again for taking the time out to listen in with us tonight. We really appreciate it. As always, as you know, the Quality of Love podcast could not be where it is without the wonderful audience that we have. So kudos to you all. I will never not shout you out as an audience because I know you make the show. With that being said, y'all been on me for a long time about bringing people in doing more interviews. Y'all want to hear more diverse voices. Y'all want to hear what people are doing in the community. So I got y'all right Last time. Last interview we had my guy, james Redfern, who told y'all a little bit about his experience with relationships going from in prison to out of prison. If you have not checked that out, highly recommend you check that out again. I've got a lot of positive feedback on that episode, so we definitely going to bring James back on in some capacity in the future.
Speaker 2:But for today I got another very, very special guest. This gentleman man I met him had to go a couple of years ago now. Right, yeah, a couple of years ago. It's been a couple of years, and I can honestly say when I first met this gentleman he was extremely powerful. I can tell he was passionate. I can tell he was all about the community. I can tell he was all about family, and y'all know how we give it up here at the Quality of Love podcast. That's all we love, right. All the love we on that. So, with that being said, I want to introduce my guest here. His name is James Williams. Y'all might hear me say boog and slip up from time to time, but that's just because me and him got this personal relationship. But y'all know him as James Williams. So, james, my brother, first of all, thank you for coming on the show. I appreciate it. I know we had a pre-conversation about getting you on, so we made it happen. Man, thank you for coming on and you introduce yourself to the audience, man.
Speaker 3:Like you said, james Williams. Some people know me as Bug, but yeah, native of Syracuse, born and raised product of the Syracuse city school district. Uh, born on the east side, raised on the south side, like I say, a product of Syracuse. Um, right now I'm, uh, business-wise. I'm currently the community engagement manager for Blueprint 15.
Speaker 2:Father of one beautiful daughter Samaja Williams, shout out to you.
Speaker 3:Samaja yes, a brother, a son, a nephew, just someone you know, part of a strong family, also part of a strong unit and, like I said once again, just a native of Syracuse.
Speaker 2:Yes, sir, yes, sir. And first of all, he. When he keeps saying native of Syracuse, he mean that like he might as well have had it tatted on his back how this man be repping for his town for sure. So I'm going to send that out there. He trying to be humble about it, but I'm putting that out there. He definitely is literally all about Syracuse, which I love and you know we love that, which is another reason why we want to bring James through and give him his flowers here at the Quality of Love podcast.
Speaker 2:I met you. When I first met you, james, you were that, you was that promise zone, yeah, and it was during a facilitation session. And one of the things I remember vividly man is just your passion, right? So a lot of the conversation and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong A lot of conversation that we had, it kind of centered around power, dynamics, racial aspects present within that environment. I remember one time you like man, you don't understand. You don't understand what we're dealing with. Not to me you wasn't saying this to me personally, but you were saying it to somebody that was in the environment and I'm like, yeah, that's a brother that's passionate about his stuff, man, like where does that, where does that passion come from? Like, talk to us a little bit about that, like, because it's very noticeable when when interacting with you and when watching you and your element just just knowing you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like you, I don't care where you come from, whether it's Syracuse, whether it's Ohio, florida, five boroughs, california you, you felt some type of pain or you felt something and you want to make a want to want to make a change. And you want to make a change. You know what I mean. Like it's easy to talk about what's going on and what's not happening, but for some it's harder to be like all right. Well, let me try to do this.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean, because it's easy to say, oh man, we ain't got this and we ain't got that, or they don't know how to do this, all right. So if they don't know how to do this, all right. So if they don't know how to do it, so then sure you know what I mean so, absolutely so.
Speaker 3:That's where that, that's where it comes from.
Speaker 3:You know, like, like, just being like you say, being working at promise zone, being in a school district, just like you, every everybody was that little kid at one point in time. Oh yes, but I mean like, like everybody, everybody felt, felt that feeling of not being able to eat at home. Now, when you get in school, you're hungry. Not even hungry, you are hungry, whether you had to walk two or three blocks as an adult, we look at it now differently. Oh man, that's right down the street. For a little kid, that's a little ways, especially when you say you're a fourth grader and you've got to walk to school in the wintertime. You know you walk to school in the wintertime and and and the, the selection that they got for you to eat. You don't even like that. And then, not to mention, not to mention you cold from walking to school. So now you got your hood on. The teacher like, oh, take your hood off, take your hood off. You're like, as a kid, you're not going to, you're not going to respect that, just because the way it was it was presented to you just like an adult. It's like another adult yell at you oh, take your hood off. You're like what, miss this? I bought this hoodie, right? You're not telling me to take my hood off. Who are you?
Speaker 3:And now, as a, as a kid, although we say, oh, they should, they should know Better than to walk into school with their hood on. As an adult, you should know better than to yell at a little kid and tell him to take their hood off. Then that's where, that's where that disconnect going to start, right there. And then, you know, then they will call Mr Williams up to the classroom. Mr Williams comes to the classroom and you could just see it in the kid's face and you just tell him come on. Let the kid know I got him miss. I got him Come with me.
Speaker 3:And the first thing I would ask him did you eat this morning? No, mr Williams, I ain't eat nothing. All right, listen, I got this dry cereal in my office. You want some of this cereal? Yeah, mr Williams, all right, you sit right here. You're going to warm up for a minute. Once you warm up, you take that hood off and then we're going to go upstairs and we're going to get you in the classroom. You know what I mean Just being compassionate, being humane. You know what I mean? That's all, it's just those little tidbits. You know. I mean that we that we often forget or we take for granted just being just with everyday life, right, you know what I mean, like you know especially, yeah, especially something that's significant and I hate to cut you off, but you like you.
Speaker 2:You getting me goosebumps now, brother, already I wasn't ready for you to hit me with the knowledge, so early, right?
Speaker 3:That's something that we all feel, because once again we were there at that point in time, whether it was your mom or dad was able to fix you something to eat every single day, but just that one day you couldn't get something, or that one day you had to miss the bus. And now you walk into school. You know what I mean. Now, the teachers, no matter where they come from, whether whether they come from five, five miles or they're coming from 25 miles, driving in. That's a smooth ride for you in that, in your warm car, as a little, as a little kid, you won't be walking in the snow, man, you cold. And then you got to think too, like we all know how, how harsh our winners are here, like, even if you bundled up, man, that that hawk come through that coat.
Speaker 2:Right, right, right, it's just still listen and listen. And not for nothing, though, in there, since we're keeping it all the way real. We live in one of the 10 poorest cities in the country, right? So everybody out not out here with Montclair's on 10 poorest cities in the country, right? So everybody not out here with Montclair's on, and literally, like you just said, it's some kids that rain, sleet, hell, snow throughout the whole year. All they have is a hoodie to wear, right? So even you think about that dynamic of it.
Speaker 2:That has to be very difficult to be a part of man and to witness, right, like to be on the front line and to know that a teacher want to jump to yelling and, oh you, being disrespectful, versus coming to a point of understanding and knowing that yo, this kid hasn't eaten yet. And not for nothing. Man, I'm going to keep it real with you. I'm 36 years old. When I don't eat breakfast, man, don't talk to me. Or if I don't get something in my stomach first thing in the morning, don't talk to me, because you're not going to get the same person that you would had I had a nutritious and nourishing meal.
Speaker 3:That's a fact. And now, like you say that shoot as an adult. So just imagine that child. And sometimes you got to think like, yeah, we talking about breakfast, but that breakfast actually could have been dinner. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:Like they, could have, not even Mm-hmm, mm-hmm you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Like they could have not even had eaten anything last night. Right, you know what I mean. That breakfast, and then it's once again not to mention. It's something that they don't want.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Oh man, Mm-hmm, oh man.
Speaker 1:Dang.
Speaker 3:That's going to create a whole dynamic or just behaviors. But now don't get me wrong. Now, and on the flip side of that, as a teacher, yeah, she got to deal with sometimes 24 to 30 different attitudes. You know what I mean. And and can it? Can it be hard? Yes, I'm not gonna sit right here and say it can't be hard. Can it be hard? Yes, yes, it can be hard, I mean. But also too, though it's like you have to, just you have to know your personnel. Yeah, you have to know your personnel. Sometimes you may have to show another little kid a little more loving, because you know he don't get that at home.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean yeah, and although that it may be letting him leave his hoodie on for four extra minutes, another little kid pointed out oh, miss, miss, miss, you let him let his hoodie on. All right, so this is what we'll do, then, on friday, if you own a hood, if you don't own a hood, or if you even own a hat, while we in the classroom, you can have your hood and your hat on on friday. You know I mean, this is something simple as that. You know what I mean, although, while we in the classroom, you can have your hood and your hat on on Friday. You know what I mean. This is something simple as that. You know what I mean, although it may be a school rule that they can't have their hat and their hood on while they're in the school, but this is your classroom. You can make the rules a little bit, you can bend them. It's your classroom.
Speaker 3:A principal walking, somebody walking hey, why they got their hats on? You pull it to the side. Well, listen, the other day, such and such he walked in the classroom. He was cold, he had his hood on, so somebody pointed it out. So I let everybody have their hood on. Okay, okay, okay, okay. And I mean like you may get reprimanded a little later on as a teacher, but it won't be. It'll just be a smack on the wrist, as opposed to that kid being sent now to the, to the principal's office, going to iss parent being a parent coming up to the school, the the cycle that happens right right.
Speaker 2:Right, that's so funny. You said the cycle, because I was thinking, as you're talking, it's a systemic response. Right, it's almost like even even we talk a lot about the kids being programmed prison to pipe or school to prison system pipeline. Right, we talk a lot about that. What I'm realizing as a parent is that a lot of the teachers is programmed too, which is which is to me.
Speaker 2:I'll, honestly, and and there is a piece of me, so, before I even get it, you have to go down this road. I want to throw it out there that there's a piece of me, so, before I even get it, you have to go down this road. I want to throw it out there that there's a piece of me that definitely feels empathy for the teachers, right, where it's like they dealing with so much stuff and like. With that being said, though, I think, like you said, you have to look at it different, right, like you as an individual who is is the coach? Right, because I look at them as the coach of the classroom. Yeah, you got your GM, the vice principal, you got the president of the organization, the principal, whatever, you got all these exterior factors, but as the coach, you need to learn to manage and control that environment properly, so you can get the most effective work done out of the kids Right, sometimes I'll go to school.
Speaker 2:I won't even say to school, I'll go to a school, and it's like the teacher's giving up and their response is, oh, call a principal, or call ISS, or call their parent, and it's like, nah, that whole default to calling our parents, that shit went out the window a long time ago. Our parents are not in positions where they can properly especially in this economy properly sit with us and say do these? You know what I mean. Imagine a mom who worked at three jobs getting a call now from a parent to discipline their child while they're at school. It's like you. You you're throwing the responsibility on to the parent and it should be a collaborative relationship, right.
Speaker 3:And now, and how I try to make it a collaborative relationship. When, when a student would get out of line something, something that I would and what I say, who would deem it out of line Me? Because I'm the one either going to call the parent or I'm not going to call the parent Cause I'm going to like, like, I say, like, all right, if you, if the little boy in the classroom, you know and you know what I'm not even gonna say the little boy, I'm not even going to do that. If the little kid, little boy or little girl is in the classroom, smd, smd. Oh, ok, you think that's OK to say to your teacher and in the classroom. All right, so what we want to do is now we want to go to my classroom, we want to call your mom, or we're going to call your sister, whoever, whatever number. This is right here. We're going to call her. I'm going to put it on speakerphone so you're gonna hear it ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.
Speaker 3:Hello. How you doing, ma'am, how you doing, sir, this, this, this is mr williams, here at at the school. How you doing, what's going on? Yeah, I have such and such here in my classroom and I I would like for them to explain to you why they think it's okay for them to say in the classroom smd to the teacher, or just say it out loud to another student in the classroom. Excuse me, wait, wait, wait. Would you say your name? Or sir, mr williams? And when they, when they, when they do that, the parent. For me that's a, that's a, that's a tone check, a tone check and a skin check. If I could just be clear with you yeah, please be transparent.
Speaker 3:Listen we on front hair please be right there man keep it all the way real that's a, that's a, once again, that's a. That's, that's a tone check. So they can, so they can hear the base of my voice, so they can recognize what my skin color is without even seeing me yet. So now, so now, so now, after they that, put them on the phone. Oh man, they right here, they can, they can hear you, they're on speakerphone. Oh, you think you think that's okay? You think that's why I sent you to school? No, so why are you? Why are you up there doing that? You know I'm here at work. When you get home, it's going to, it's going to be me and you, mr Williams, sir, you got my number Any and every time they get out of the line. Please, sir, you please call me.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 3:Ma'am, I understand you are at work, mr Williams, that is all right. I'm going to lock this number in my phone, so now I know when it's you calling. I'm either going to take a five-minute break or I'm going to step away from what I'm doing and answer this phone. But now, also now on the flip side of that, I would send text messages when they are doing good. Cause you got it, cause, if you're going to, if you, if you're going to be, if you're going to be there, when they being bad, you got, you definitely got to notice the little the little time they are being good.
Speaker 2:Right, it's a balance to it, right like, because nobody, nobody wants to constantly be told when their child's doing bad right like exactly no child is bad all the time and y'all can front and all there and be like oh, kids you know? No, stop it. We we've worked with enough kids to know that no child is bad. All the time you just not consciously paying attention to what they're doing to make sure you catch them doing the right thing.
Speaker 3:Right, right and again.
Speaker 2:I love that approach man.
Speaker 1:And again sorry to cut you off, bro, but you rolling man.
Speaker 2:But that approach, right, like you said, is thinking outside the box and now it's collaborative. And what parent don't want that balance where it's like, yeah, you calling me when my kid doing bad, but when you gonna call me when they doing something good, when you gonna tell me when my kid doing bad, but when they, when you going to call me when they doing something good, when you're going to tell me when they doing the right thing?
Speaker 3:Right, and I think that that's what you're saying is a is an excellent way to foster that collaborative relationship and it also, it shows it, it gives the parents that presence to know like, okay, my child, my child, is with somebody who, who, under who, understands our family dynamic who understands our family dynamic. They have a sense of understanding how my child can get and can be, and I know my child is going to be safe while they're in school with that person. Absolutely.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean, because it would be so many times when a kid would get picked up, I would hear on the walkie-talkie and I would meet them at the um, at the front door, with their parents, and I would say, hey, this is your mom, this is your dad. And they would say I'm saying, well, introduce me. And they would say my dad, this, this, mr will, oh you, mr williams hey man, I appreciate you.
Speaker 3:I appreciate you. You know this, that and the third, you know what I mean and once again, it's just. It's just now being able to put the face and the skin tone with the name and see who. It is Okay. And then, nine times out of 10. I know the parent because of the, because of the age of the student. Now I know the parent.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:When I see, I said oh, this, this is your son. Can you please tell them? Tell them how long I've been knowing you. Oh man, mr Williams, go back since fourth grade.
Speaker 1:Word, word.
Speaker 3:First grade. Mr Williams, yeah, blowing their little minds.
Speaker 2:They're like oh, we definitely can't, we definitely can't play those games. We definitely can't get away with that stuff we were supposed to get away with.
Speaker 3:What? And now, every day, they walk past my classroom. Hi, mr Williams. How you doing you all right, I'm good, I'm good. Mr Williams, can I come have lunch with you later on? Yeah, but listen, first we're going to ask your teacher, because if you ain't been doing right all week, nah, coming to have lunch with Mr Williams is a privilege. I let them know. There's nothing written down in the handbook where it says as a student, I got to go to Mr Williams' classroom to have lunch. That's something you work for, right?
Speaker 2:You got to earn that. That's something you work for.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you got to earn that.
Speaker 2:You got to earn that. That's dope man, that's what you work for.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you got to earn that you got to earn that, that's dope man, that's that thing, man. And then also, too, it helps them at a young age of holding them accountable. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like, think about it, you're not just going to do one good day of school work and then come have lunch and meet and then mess up.
Speaker 3:the too many kids want to have lunch in my classroom. All right, if it's like with a teacher, I'll have lunch in your classroom.
Speaker 3:I'll come up to your classroom and we're going to. We're going to rock out, we're going to watch a movie. We're going to eat lunch and chill If you watch a movie. We're going to talk. We're going to be respectful, but we're going to talk and what that? What that did for me. It helped me bridge the gap for for being able to understand the younger ones and what they, and when they say certain things, you know what I mean and then I put you in a lane.
Speaker 2:put you on today Lingo.
Speaker 3:Exactly, exactly, I mean. So when I hear them say certain things, I can't, I can't, I can't get upset, because now I understand, I know what that means. It may sound a certain way, but now I know what that means. Or but when they say something out of the way, hey, hey, my bad, mr Williams.
Speaker 1:My bad.
Speaker 3:Tighten up, tighten up. And the little boys. Make sure you got a belt on, bro. Make sure you got a belt on. Mr Williams got a belt on If I got to wear a belt and I can't be having my pants hanging on through the hallway. Right, you're not doing that either.
Speaker 2:No, that's dope, because the other thing you speak to is role modeling Right Like now you, you've given them a black positive male figure to role model after Right, and let's just keep it real.
Speaker 1:We don't, we don't always have that growing up in the communities that we grow up in Right Right.
Speaker 2:And to see that is not like, oh OK, it's a positive black man that don't sag. Ok, let me, let me try that. Let me do that because not for nothing, bro. Not every kid don't want to, that's growing up in an urban environment, don't want to be in a gang.
Speaker 3:Right, it's a lot. I don't want to be a part of that, but what other options do they have? After a while, I'm about to say less man, let's just keep it real. It's all right like, let's go, let's go. A lot, of, a lot of us, even if we didn't have that, don't want to be in no gang, especially if you, if you, if you come from that, especially now that we older man, anybody trying to, anybody trying to get away from that, now that you older, if you, if you don't get in the mix and the scuffle as a kid whether you jumped off the porch as an 11 year old, jumped off the porch as a 16 year old bro if you really come from that, you ain't trying to be back in that. No more, hell. No, you're passionate audience.
Speaker 2:I told you my boy was passionate, and now that you got babies.
Speaker 3:you don't want to confuse them and make them think like, oh, this is how everything supposed to be, but you also don't want them to smell that shit.
Speaker 2:I tell you that Bird, that's a fact. I tell you that.
Speaker 3:But don't get me wrong, though, letting them be able to experience the shit in some fashion it keeps them balanced Right, like oh, okay, okay. Like taking them back through the neighborhood, like listen, this is where daddy grew up at, right here, daddy, that's where you lived at. Yeah, it looked like that now when grandma had that house. It didn't look like that, but yeah, that's where daddy grew up at.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, dog daddy, that's what I mean. That balance, that's just yeah, it's dope, creating that balance right, because you also the opposite end of the spectrum and not for nothing I got friends who function with a level of entitlement right where it's, like you done, been given everything your whole life, no, no's, no, like everything is just a go, go, go.
Speaker 2:Right now, you 30 plus years old, somebody telling you no, you want to have a temper tantrum or somebody telling you no, you want to be kicking and screaming about it, and even that piece right there where it says that's why I constantly talk about balance, because that piece right there, because that person just as screwed as the person that's in the hood, in my opinion, because the person that's in the hood don't have the skill set and the person this person that's been in high society or sadidi bougie their whole life, they don't got the skill set either. So so eventually, both of those individuals are going to end up in trouble at some point in time.
Speaker 3:At some point in time, exactly At some point in time. That's a fact. That's a fact.
Speaker 2:See, I told y'all. My man got that passion man, I told y'all there it is, there it is.
Speaker 3:One thing, too, that used to like, like, get me upset about the kids. They didn't tie their shoes and it's not like. You know how like Is it a?
Speaker 2:trend, though, because I do be seeing people without tying that don't tie their shoes no more, and I'm actually happy you brought that up because I'd be wanting to ask is that a trend? Is that a cool thing nowadays? Because it took me too long to learn to tie my shoes than to be playing out here on top with my shoes on time man it ends on.
Speaker 3:I feel like it depends on how you lace them and you are. You got to know, like, like, with little kid sneakers. The shoe string is extra long for some reason on little kid sneakers, right. So it's like they. I'm talking third, fourth and fifth. I mean, don't get me wrong. Second, first, kindergarten, pre-k. That is a skill set you learn coming up in the rankings at home. In school, you know pre-K, we had the little vest thing and you had to learn how to tie it on there, right?
Speaker 3:But my third, fourth and fifth graders it used to like hurt my nerves and it would be like the class clown sort of say he walking around, mama, daddy got him in the latest, the latest, hey man, tie your sneakers. And he just look at me sideways and I'm like, come here, I'll pull him out the line. Y'all go ahead. Everybody goes to the class. Man, stand right here, tie your sneakers. And he said to me Mr Williams, I can't tie my sneakers. Say what, can't tie my sneakers? He said all right, all right, this is what we're going to do. I'm going to tie them for you, right, I'm going to tie them for you. I'm going to tie them for you. You're going to tuck them in. You're going to tuck them in.
Speaker 3:Tomorrow, when you come back through here, I want you to knock on my door. I'm going to have a sneaker for you. It's going to have a shoestring in it. You can either do it in my classroom, you can put it in your book bag, so you don't do it in school and take it home, but you're going to learn how to tie your sneakers. And it wasn't so that it was for a few things. It was one the main important thing, so they don't fall in that school. Everybody know how hard that school floor is and the school I worked in it had a bunch of steps and all.
Speaker 3:I could think about is one of them little kids falling, cracking their head open and somebody from the school calling their mom like, listen, such and such fell down the steps. Because what you mean? He fell down the steps. You know what I mean Because his shoes was untied. You know what I mean? Just little stuff like that. So you know what I mean. And then, not to mention, you know, for me being Mr Williams, to the kids, I and why they gravitated toward me was because it's like a lot of the stuff that they would wear. Man, we used to wear that that ain't new Especially the sneakers. And then, like I would come in there Once I started wearing the dunks in the school.
Speaker 2:Oh man, oh yeah, yeah, your level of credibility can go all the way up there. Once you got the latest At first, I'm coming there with some hard bottom shoes, wallabies.
Speaker 3:One day I wore a pair of some white Air Forces. They're like okay, mr Williams, I said what? What you know about the G-Phazos? I said what I said. First of all, these called Air Force Ones. Right, right, right.
Speaker 2:I feel like they got a new name or something.
Speaker 3:Actually they called old schools. That's what we call them. Let's keep it real.
Speaker 1:That's what we call them old schools.
Speaker 3:But they're like what you know about the G-Fazos. And then man put out a pair of dunks oh, mr Williams, and then you know. So that's how I was able to break in with him, showing him listen, like although, yes, I'm much older than y'all, but what y'all doing is because of we was doing the first type deal.
Speaker 2:That's a fact Ain't nothing new underneath the sun.
Speaker 3:I'll be telling him, man, Ain't nothing new underneath the sun, exactly, exactly, and that was the knowledge I would give them. Man. Ain't nothing new underneath the sun, man. That's so dope, man you just brought me back memories.
Speaker 2:Man, I miss working with kids. Man ain't nothing like that, like that right where it's like kids notice the smallest thing and it's like, oh, okay, okay, mr Williams, I see you like.
Speaker 3:then automatically your credibility there is like I, I'm going to listen to you. You got a little swag, we'll listen to you. I went to the store the other day. I'm bummed out. I got my hoodie on. I got my hoodie on, held the door open. The two little kids, two little Mandarin boys, walk in the door.
Speaker 3:He see my face. He started running. He stopped you, you, you, man, you, mr williams, you, mr williams. I said, hey, man, how you doing good, how you doing, mr williams. He said, where you, where you working at now? You, you're not out of school, no more, but you still help the people, right? I say yeah, yeah, how's school going? School going good, mr williams, school going good, good. He probably like he, probably like now, probably like in, like the, like the third grade. So when I first met met him, he probably, he was in first grade, so he in the third grade now. But for him to just remember me, like that, if I had a thousand dollars right now and they asked me what was his name, I would lose the bet. But for him to just remember my face, remember my name, like that, that showed that while I was there I did what I was supposed to do right, you had an impact on his life, man.
Speaker 2:So again, kudos to you, bro. Seriously right like, and that, uh, I could just that that'd be of all the years. Working with kids is not easy, man like. Working with you, working with students, that stuff is not easy. So when you hear that right, or when you get a student that come back and be like thank you, you, you had an impact on my life, that'd be worth it, man Like that'd be all those rough days worth it, man for sure All right, all right, you just made a statement.
Speaker 3:Working with kids is not easy. It's not easy if you don't have a certain skill set. And when I say a certain skill set, like, I'll be transparent once again, like I. Like, I'll be transparent once again like I, I didn't go to school for working with kids. I went to school for, for culinary arts. But but also, too, though, like, I know what it's like to be a kid, and now, for nine years, I know what it's like to be a parent, right, and I mean, and then, working in the school, I see what it's like to be staffed, right, you know what I mean, like, but you just got to know with what you're dealing with, you know. I mean, you got to think like, all right, the, the I worked in the school district. That was two years ago.
Speaker 3:I stopped working in the school district, so, for, right after the pandemic, going back into the schools, I already knew, like, like, how we knew was life. It ain't, it ain't going back to that. It's not going back to that. But now also, too, though, you got to think like, now, the kids that I'm dealing with, they, they 10 years old at the time. So now you got to think back 2009, 2018, or 2008, 2008, 2009, 2008, 2009, 2010. Got to think about like damn, like what? What drugs was people on back then, right? So now you're dealing with like spiking, all of that type of stuff.
Speaker 3:But now you're dealing with like the sort of say, like the offspring of that. You know what I mean. Now you got the kids crazy temper tantrums in school ready, ready to tear shit up in school. You know I mean, but you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta understand how to, how to be able to maneuver around that sometimes the teachers won't understand.
Speaker 3:That, you know, I mean, and I felt like and I felt like that's what I said and I feel like that's what? That, that certain skill set of just coming from the neighborhood, that that's what just helped me out, being able to be being there with them kids and granted, I'm talking about elementary, I'm not even talking about middle school or high school that also, that also presents to have another skill set right there.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Like you got to Compolite.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. And then also too, though, and I'm going to go off like, and I'm not, I'm not knocking anybody who wants to get into the education system, under no circumstances. I feel like, if you, if that's what, if that's what your, that's what your passion is, that's what you want to do, be able to teach, kudos to you, right, but also to those like I feel like, look, our, our teachers, they was like, they were like well groomed, they was doing this thing for for years right.
Speaker 3:You know, I or if they were, it wasn't like a like, like a regular thing, but it's like the flip side of that. It's like our teachers. Now they go into the club like that it's because shit, because these, these kids is running the ragged right, right, right, right.
Speaker 2:It's again. It's uh, I know you better get me out my soapbox, man what it is, it's we. I think personally, covid exposed what you know what I mean, like COVID exposed anything that's really going on and basically we have a whole. We have a systems issue in our society where it's like we don't have the proper systems in place to ensure that people are going to be successful. All of our system at this point in time is inequitable, right, so it creates problems for everybody.
Speaker 2:Where it's like you had back in our day, you had like a it almost was a sequence where it's like you had to go through these processes to become a teacher, you have to have this amount of time and to become tenured and so on, and so it was so much structure to it. Over time, we you start the state start to lose money, this place start to lose money. Then people start to get a little tighter, right, so it's like, yeah, we don't need that in the budget. Yeah, no, we don't need additional education and no, we don't need to be developing our teachers in the budget. And the more and more you cut 10 years down the line, that's where you see the results of them cutting stuff 10 years ago, 2014, when they started making budget cuts or whatever it was.
Speaker 2:Now we're starting to see the results of that, based on our teachers and, like you said, you can't get mad at the teachers because they are already dealing with limited resources. You and I both know that, so it's like it's damned if you do, damned if you don't. I will say that education is not the angle that I'm gonna pursue my kids in. I'm gonna try to stay away from that, because if you do get into involved in education, you gotta know you're going against the system. You gotta be mindful of self-preservation, in my opinion, like you gotta figure out ways to really preserve yourself, because you it's an uphill battle, man definitely now uh with that being said, you, you, you now I'm working for blueprint 15.
Speaker 2:Correct, tell the people. Tell the people what blueprint 15 is and the amazing work that that you started to be exposed to and that that you're looking to continue to push through the community. Cause I think I know blue, I know what blueprint 15 is and I think that the individuals that they have, uh, in the leadership role and that thing work that they've been doing in the community has been amazing, um, and I really want them to be able to keep the momentum pushing forward okay, um, blueprint 15 is a not-for-profit uh organization, that's that's bringing back resources and helping those within the 15th ward of Syracuse and, as I put up quotes, 15th ward.
Speaker 3:I just recently began, like I say, being their community engagement manager and when I say bring resources to that area, well, it's bringing more education to that area, helping to bring more economics to that area, helping to bring more energy to that area, so to say, that area of Syracuse.
Speaker 3:It was known pretty much as a completely Black neighborhood, but it was also like a slum, so to say. But then also within it you definitely had thriving up the highway. I was seeing some pictures the other day while I was at work of how things looked before they even put up the highway. Before there was even an upstate hospital. Where upstate hospital is right now, it was houses there.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:I didn't even know that, yeah At all. And then I'm just looking at pictures, I'm just looking at everything. I'm like, wow, like it showed the irving side of krauss irving hospital. Like we're like where the irving side was, the was the entrance to the hospital right and um. But, like I said also, yeah, we're um, we're trying to bring, like I say, more education and more jobs down there. That is the, the more more important thing I feel with withueprint 15 and what we're trying to do. Like I said, we want to find resources and create resources for people who feel like they have no other way, so we're putting things in place to show them.
Speaker 3:Listen, this is beyond just developing new housing down here, but this is, this will also can happen. You know, we can also bring there, also can bring be more, more education pieces to help people would get to better themselves if they wanted to in any type of way in life. And it also is there's jobs. You know plenty that that is the plan to bring plenty of more jobs down down that way to people, um, whether it's um jobs of people doing construction, because there will be tons of construction going on, or whether there's jobs once construction is done people who have found, found a uh, a niche or a hustle during through the pandemic. You know, like, let's just say, we got people, you know um, finding that they can really, they can really throw down and cook in the kitchen. But yet you know, they they do it, they do it part-time, as a hustle, they do it out of the out of the back of their home. You know I mean, but all right, but it's like the uh, the presentation of the food is good, the food is good itself, but now let's do they have a business plan to really make this a true, a true business.
Speaker 3:If they wanted to, whether they wanted to really have a brick and mortar or they wanted to do a food truck, we're trying to create an option so that just present them with creating a business plan to to further that hustle, make it, make it even more legit, whether it's something that you want to do now or if you want you to retire. Like you know what, I already got a business plan in place. I already done spoke with the banks. This is what I need on my end, this is what they're willing to give me, and that's through Blueprint 15. And the footprint that we cover in the city of Syracuse is East Adams to Colvin, going down Salina, going down Renwick, going down Salina, going down Renwick. My supervisor, ray Kwan. He put me on to a lot of what it is that we're actually really trying to do and how we can help those within that footprint of CSE.
Speaker 2:Shout out to Chef too, Chef has done a lot of good work, man Chef Ray Kwan Chef has been doing a lot of work behind the scenes shout out to him um, I love that, I love the work that blueprint 15 is doing is.
Speaker 2:Is it safe to say that that the organization will be a liaison for people in the community to be able to, to not be left behind, so to speak, correct where it's like yo, we here to hook you up and connect you with whoever we need to connect you with, so that you don't get left behind when Micron come in, when all these other business initiatives come in, right?
Speaker 3:Not, not even just the, just the businesses, just when, when, when things start different, things start to be developed or tore down. We want to make sure that you know that people, people have say so again, you know, or just that they're, they're aware, for them to even have say so on what's going on, because sometimes you know people aren't aware of what's going on and that's how we be misinformed. You got to think too, like that's how we hear things. Third and fourth party what is it that game we play as a kid, the telephone game? The telephone game is the real thing in life. You might hear the story, somebody might get the whole story, but then when they want to share it, they're only going to share certain tidbits or throw their little extra sauce on it.
Speaker 2:You know that selective listening is a motherfucker man. They'll tell you exactly what they heard from it, as long as it's in favor of them. It's like I heard all the good stuff. That's favorable for me. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:So, like I said, we just want to definitely keep a platform where we're able to keep people informed, good and bad. We want to make sure that everything is in balance you know what I mean Of what is going on or what's going to happen within that footprint of the city.
Speaker 2:Dope, dope man. Thank you for that. Anything you need from our perspective, just let me know I can't let you off the show. I'm speaking to a few things. Yesterday we talked a little bit.
Speaker 2:I'm going to save that one for after this okay before we get into that conversation, I just I, I love how passionate you are as a father man. I love just seeing passionate dad. You know, I mean like that, just that that's motivation for me, man. Like, tell me, um, like what, what fatherhood means to you? We got fatherhood coming up, man, so I just I've been not one or going around asking brothers that I know, like what does fatherhood means to you? We got fatherhood coming up, man, so I just I've been not going around asking brothers that I know, like, what does fatherhood mean to you, man? What does being a dad like mean? How does that? How does that, how does that energize you? How does that give you the motivation to keep being who you are?
Speaker 3:everything. It means everything to me, like, and I'll tell people I'd have been in so many different conferences and I ain't got no problem sharing this Like for, for, for, for our kids, we the superhero, right, but no, I feel like, I feel like my daughter, my daughter, my superhero. You know what I mean. Like not not saying that I, I, I live a, a wild life or anything like that, but I know, having her definitely changed, daddy, right, you know what I mean. So, yeah, she's my lifesaver, my superhero.
Speaker 3:Yes, indeed, you know what I mean and just being passionate about fatherhood, bro, it truly comes from shit. Like it, it truly come from shit like from a little kid like my dad. My dad was there but he wasn't there. You feel what I'm saying and like shit, like the hurt, the, the pain that I felt. I try to make sure she don't feel that shit word to me. Yeah, you know I'm hell. No, that's my primary motivation too.
Speaker 2:Man, you speak to me on that like you'll never, you'll never not feel like I'm not gonna be there because don't shit else matter. I'm telling you that right now, like no money, no cars?
Speaker 1:no, you can name it, none of that shit matter I will always be there.
Speaker 2:You would never not feel like daddy won't be there. That's one of my biggest things, bro, where I'm like I don't give a what's going on like, right? My daughters will never feel the feeling of me not being there that's a fact.
Speaker 3:And but now, like my dad, my, my dad, my daughter's grandfather, he, he, he's still around and and I should have put it on there I'm a junior. You know I mean and, but, but like the like the, the joke between me and my dad is I call my dad junior. You know, I mean, when I call him, I'll be like what him? I'll be like what's up junior, he'd be like what's up senior. You know what I mean. But like, and now, now, now, now that I'm older and he sees the man that I'm, that that I have become, you know what I mean. Like I, I, I just I just call him and I just like, I ask him for certain things and he's like, well, you know, or he'll just, he'll straight shoot with me. He won't, he don't, he don't hold no punches, he don't take no sides. You know what I mean. And he got this, he got this, saying whenever he say ain't, no, ain't, no doubt in my mind, whenever he say that to me, I know he dead ass about what he's saying. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:And but like I try to make, I definitely make sure that that my daughter and in my 20s I used to fought them. Oh man, I ain't had this, I ain't had that. They didn't understand when they had me young, and that's what we got to understand as the parents now, because you could drop your babies off to your mom's crib or to your pop's crib and they do some shit that's out the way, and to us we're like man, you better stop. What's the first thing your parents gonna say? Oh, let them be, let them be, they all right, they all right. And you say to yourself mom, if that was me, you would have been.
Speaker 3:If that was me, you would have been all over me. That's a fact For your daughters, your kids. Let them be yo, bro.
Speaker 2:Isn't it crazy? It's such a different relationship, man, that I'll be like yo. I'll be sitting back. I'm like yo.
Speaker 3:Ain't this some shit like but you wanna know why now, wanna know why they, they understand it now yeah, yeah, they understand.
Speaker 3:When they had us, bro, they were still trying to figure it out. Mhm, mhm, bro, they were still trying to figure it out. They were still trying to figure it out. But now that they done found their way in life and how they going to be is how they going to be. All right, I ain't got to try to do this for nobody. I ain't got to try to do that for nobody. This is me. Take it and love it. Now, where my grandbabies at Right right, right right.
Speaker 2:You know what I?
Speaker 3:mean and that and that's what they live for. Now, that's what they live for. They'll call like yeah, my daughter got a phone. My mama called me. Where's Samaja at you talking to Samaja today? I'm going to call her phone.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah yeah, and then it's always through you, or I love when especially when we first are oldest when you come around and they be like oh hey, where the baby at? What are you doing?
Speaker 1:It's like yo, I'm a human being too. Where the be.
Speaker 2:I'm like yo. I'm human. I'm that person that y'all used to love. When they show up Now, it's like where the baby at Right Get out of my circle.
Speaker 3:Where the baby at, where the baby at.
Speaker 2:I love seeing that though, bro man. It's so dope to see the different like you said, the different dynamics of the relationship. Now the grandparents right. Being your parent man, that's dope.
Speaker 3:But also too, though, like I say, I love their bond For the simple fact, like, as the parent, we're going to do things like get them a a phone, get him a tablet and stuff like that, but when you go to grandma house, you better play with this puzzle. We're gonna play, we're gonna. We're gonna play these board games.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep you a kid yeah you know, I mean we're gonna, we're gonna do different things to keep to, to keep you a kid, all those society may, may, may have you thinking you ready to beat it. Nope, nope, nope, I'm nope, I'm going to keep you right here I'm going to keep you right here.
Speaker 2:Keep you right at a kid level.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. That's what I love. It's the song that Andre 3000 got with Kanye. What did he say? He loved Andre 3000. He loved how his mom taught his child civilian life.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. Every time I see, see them like playing Uno and shit like that, I just think like damn, like I love that Because and it make me think back to when I was a kid like my mom would be at work, my grandpops would come to the crib and play Uno with us or play Monopoly with us. And, bro, like it's like my grandpa, he always got Boardwalk and Park Place. He played here. He played here. He did not cheat up, but he always got Boardwalk and Park Place.
Speaker 3:So it's like as an adult now and I play Monopoly with her.
Speaker 2:oh, you know, Dan, you already know what you're going to get.
Speaker 1:You already know what you're going to get.
Speaker 3:Y'all man, I love that it's just stuff like that and like. I say like and all that. Go back to it. Go back to that, to that hurt and that pain that I felt as a kid.
Speaker 3:You know, I mean of your, of your dad calling you like listen, hey, when you got out of school I'm gonna come pick you up the window and every, every car that ride past it's the color of your dad car or your dad's, but it ain't him, it ain't him and, and and he done told you, listen, I'm gonna pick you up before your mom come home from work and and you know, like all right, when mommy come home from work it's gonna be late because she's gonna cook dinner, dinner, then we're going to eat, and then I got to take a shower, then I'm going to sleep. But you're not understanding, you're not understanding like the whole time span, but you just know, when mommy come home it's over.
Speaker 2:It's a wrap.
Speaker 3:Man, bro, you sit in there. Next. Mommy got to work at 415. Next thing you know it's 6 o o'clock. All the other kids outside playing your mom be like why you ain't outside playing. My dad said he coming to get me Boy, your father ain't coming to get you and bro to hear that shit. Heartbreaking man. And you already know like when your mom said she ain't saying it in a in a voice that's gonna relax you, she gonna put her sauce on.
Speaker 2:Well, you know that you don't get.
Speaker 3:The father ain't coming to get your ass.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep, the malicious way. It's like, man, you know, come on, man, how many times he done, did this to you, how many times, like, come on now, don't be stupid now. All of that type of shit, man, that you don't know.
Speaker 3:Like Like when I say, hey, when daddy come in and when I got her a phone I let her know. I said, listen, like if you, if you don't want to go, call me, because you know sometimes you make plans and you're like, oh, we're about to go.
Speaker 3:And they be in their own little world. That now, daddy, I don't want to go. I'm going to a birthday party today with my cousins. I'm going over here with my cousins, all right. But I tell her. I say, baby, listen, because she'll have her mom call me. Ma, can you call my dad, tell him where I want to go and I'll put her on the phone. Her mama tell me.
Speaker 3:I say, put her on the phone. And I say, baby, you know you can call daddy, I don't want you to be upset. I say, baby, that daddy not gonna be upset, I I get. I get upset when you have your mom call me, when you could call me, because I, I want to hear you tell me. No, that's not what I want to do, because I want you to know. Like you, you got a voice, so tell me, right, I want you, I want you to tell me no, I want you to tell me, though, don't have your mom tell me, right, because it's something that you don't want to do. I want you to know you can say, no, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 2:That's a good relationship, bro that's definitely gonna open her up, man, like yeah, because you don't. You never want to get to a space where she not she's afraid to tell you something. You know what I mean. Like you get the words that get exactly but.
Speaker 3:But now the flip side of that though. Oh man, I had something planned. Hey, baby girl, daddy be there at 2 o'clock. No, I don't want to go, I don't want to go. All right, baby, now you got me Daddy, we was going to do X, y and Z, nah, nope.
Speaker 1:Can you come get?
Speaker 3:me tomorrow, we to go just chill out.
Speaker 2:Nope, I'm going to hang with my cousins and the words of the kids. Man, they got their own emotion is what they say.
Speaker 1:That's what they say.
Speaker 2:They got their own emotion. I'm like, okay, all right, I can dig it, I can dig it.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:Word.
Speaker 3:She keep a little bankroll on. You need some money. No, I still got $20 from last week. Daddy, all right, baby, all right, well, damn, I guess I just call you later then. Right, all right, I love you.
Speaker 2:I know I'll sit after that you don't got no one to go to Right, no one to go to. Nah, that's dope though man that's dope.
Speaker 3:But yeah, man, but I wouldn't trade it bro, I would not treat it for the world, definitely. I hear you, yeah, player, bro. I hear you, yeah, man, like man. Yeah, I just yeah. And you know, like when she was, when she was in her mom's stomach, like when we first went to the first son of, as a, naturally, as a, as a, as a man, let it be a boy, let it be a boy, let it be a boy, let it be a boy, let it be a boy, let it be a boy, let it be a boy. Nope, she sat right there the whole time, just like this, where she had her head down and covering up where you could see nothing.
Speaker 3:I missed the. I missed the second Hold on. You know what? Now I'm about to get for real. What. What pushed me further in my fatherhood? That same doctor's visit. We went to check the sonogram. Why? Because the doctor was talking to her mom the whole time while I was sitting right there as if I was not right there. And bro, like that shit, that shit lit a fire to me.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah oh yeah, you think I'm one of those, that shit lit a fire to me.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, oh yeah, you think I'm one of those. That shit lit a fire to me. Like this, my first baby, this, like I don't went through a bad fatherhood as a kid, so no, I'm definitely making sure, like what I felt, we breaking that cycle, basically Right right.
Speaker 3:We breaking that cycle. So she talking to her. I forget exactly what she was saying to her, but I said, excuse me. She was like yeah. I said, um, you don't see me sitting right here. She was like yes, sir, I see you. I said, all right, you see me, you right. But you haven't acknowledged me not one time since you've been in here talking to us. It's like you've been talking to her the whole time, like as if I'm, as if I'm not here and not going to be here. I'm going to let you know, son, I am here and I will be here from here on out.
Speaker 1:So when you?
Speaker 3:so. So when we come in here, please say good morning y'all or good afternoon y'all. Acknowledge us, acknowledge the both of us, don't just oh, the mom should be no, because she ain't Mary and I ain't Joseph. That ain't that, ain't that ain't the Magna Conception that's our child.
Speaker 2:It's going down.
Speaker 3:That's what's happening.
Speaker 2:We had nah, I'll wait you bro, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:And that shit lit a fire to me and it was just like from here on out, from here on out. But yeah, like I say after me, bucking up like that I did, due to work reasons I could not make the second one. The second one, the second son of a grand, to look and see what the birth was.
Speaker 2:And her mom told me yeah, you have, you have another girl oh like that dose of reality, brother Right.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Remember that one too. I remember it.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:That dose of reality.
Speaker 2:Like you thought you was having a boy, boy, but get ready.
Speaker 3:Well, I ain't gonna front. The whole time time I was pregnant, all I could think about was and I'm not even a tall dude but all I could think about was my son back there, clapping, clapping for the ball.
Speaker 1:That's all I could think about.
Speaker 3:That's all I could think about.
Speaker 2:Going to Pop Warner games and be talking shit but.
Speaker 3:I don't want to be at Pop Warner games talking shit, but I've got my baby basketball games, man.
Speaker 2:Where are you? Basketball games, cheerleading competition boy.
Speaker 1:Gymnastics.
Speaker 2:They done, got me involved in. Now I'm swimming, you find other shit. You find other shit to get involved in, you realize? Oh, it ain't just boys that be in sports, man, no listen.
Speaker 3:She played soccer, we did baseball. She weren't really feeling it like that but she, for somehow, some reason Tyrone, like just naturally she's competitive. She was playing. It was her and probably like three other little girls played in the baseball team with all boys. Man, they seen them, boys hitting that tee. My baby was like she. The first two times it was like a little movie. The first two times, like she straight swung and missed. Second time she, she swung and missed, like to the point where she, she did a circle and fell. She seen everybody like cracking, cracking at her man she dust herself off. Third time and she rocked that shit up out of there. I said I'm taping.
Speaker 2:I said there it go there. You know you can't never keep the camera still.
Speaker 3:You'd be like word just like, just like that, just like that, just like that and it just, it just showed me like the like, the like, like, like, like the competitiveness in my baby. You know, I mean like if she, if she tried the first time and she mess up best. Best believe, bro, she on it.
Speaker 2:She on it.
Speaker 3:She ain't no quitter, she ain't no quitter, Nah, and I see that and I love that about her. I definitely love that about her. That's cool man. But yeah, but, like I said, man, every now and then I see somebody with a newborn posted you know what I mean holding their baby, and I hashtag it no with holding their baby and I'll hashtag it no hood better than fatherhood?
Speaker 1:None. None at all.
Speaker 2:Ooh, ooh, ooh, you came out with that on your own.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you can coin that. You can take that. Nah, I ain't taking it.
Speaker 2:I'm getting missing what. What you got to hashtag that thing. I ain't going to take it, but I'm definitely going to use that one right there.
Speaker 3:My boy used to say there's no nation better than donation that's what my boy used to say yeah, yeah, my father man, ain't, no, ain't no hood better than fatherhood. That's a fact. And then, and then it's like I I believe me you touched on this um, debbie dad's is not. That's not my reality, right right, I'm not saying that there, that there isn't any, I'm just saying, that's not.
Speaker 3:That's not my reality right and when I say it's not my reality, meaning like one, I I'm not a deadbeat dad. Those that I associate myself with that got kids. They're not deadbeat dads, neither like we. We come from that era where daddy wasn't around for whatever reason, for whatever reason, whether him and mommy couldn't get it right, baby mama drama or whatever, or shit the nigga just couldn't. I mean he wasn't trying to take on his responsibilities you know I mean or shit him, mommy, they just can't coincide.
Speaker 3:So he's just like man, if I can't be there, I ain't taking care of that baby. We come from that, and so by us coming from that, we not Once again we breaking that cycle. You see, dudes with their kids.
Speaker 3:You know, what I mean. You'll see them in the park with his kids or walking through the they with their kids, right, right, you know what I mean. Like you'll see him I forget, in the in the park with his kids or walking through the mall with his kids, like, yeah, she'll be out here, right honestly, I, I see I see mad brother because I dropped my thank.
Speaker 2:Thank god I may I have the ability to drop my daughters off at school in the morning. I'll be seeing mad dads in the morning, like so I I know that that narrative, because and statistics show too that narrative is it's from the old school. Nowadays, really, this is there's more two-parent households, there's more fathers involved than ever in before in history.
Speaker 2:So that narrative is from the 90s, from the 80s, but they could still perpetuate in it, bro I'm with you on that, though I don't know not one father that's not all hands on deck with their wife, significant other, baby mother, whatever it is Like I don't even. I don't even know none of those. So Right, I think that that they use that narrative to perpetuate it, to keep us in positions to make people think that is cool when it's definitely not Right Right, right.
Speaker 3:OK.
Speaker 2:Before we do leave, I want you to tell the people where they can find you at, where they can get your information, so if they want to connect with you outside of the podcast, they're able to do so. James.
Speaker 3:As of right now, I'm only on Facebook. My Instagram got hacked many, many moons ago and I've just been resorting to Facebook.
Speaker 2:That's all good. What's your Facebook handle?
Speaker 3:My Facebook handle is actually Bug Williams on bug williams on facebook b-double-o-g. Williams. Um, yeah, um, now that I'm, you know, starting to become more business professional, I'm thinking about getting on like the twitter and the linkedin, all that stuff things of that nature.
Speaker 3:But, um, but for the most part, like, like, like I told you man like god, god put me in position to do something for my people. So I just, I just tie my boots up, I put my hood on, I just put my head down, I go to work. I Like, I told you, man like God put me in position to do something for my people.
Speaker 3:So I just tie my boots up, I put my hood on, I just put my head down, I go to work. I don't try to look for nothing, to glorify nothing, because it's like that's not what I'm in it for. You know what I mean. Absolutely. If I could say real quick, a few years ago, me and a good friend of mine, we had a clothing line and during our clothing line we was asking people, you know, to come buy our merch. But one day I'm watching the news, which I really do, which is funny but watching the news I found that we, that we top in poverty here in Syracuse. It's like what would you mean? Like, like I say, being from Syracuse and loving Syracuse? Like what do you mean? We top, which means we're topping poverty, but being ignorant, not knowing that when it's a house, when it's an active house flatland, flatland, abandoned house an active house that's poverty.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I said, oh damn, that's on the regular on every side of town around here. So, with that being said, we started a clothing drive Once again. We know how hard these winners are and how brutal they can get, so we started a clothing drive Just to look out for the city. Once again, we can complain about the poverty, how we got bums inside in the third Just less fortunate but it's like what are we doing to help them out?
Speaker 3:Sitting around complaining ain't going to help them out, right, right, you know what I mean. Complaining ain't gonna help nobody, right, it's not right. And then I felt like it was a win-win for for everybody, because now you, you donating your um, your old threads, what's the first thing you're gonna do when you go back to opening your closet? I need to go shopping.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean so it was it was.
Speaker 3:It was a win-win for the people. Man, and just you know, just like I say, just just just just me doing things like that, having different concepts like that, the people, the people in the town, show love because every everybody want to want to give back and they don't want it in a with a notoriety. Oh look what I did. Some people, some people want want to give to a, to to a good cause, and behind the scene, right you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:If I can do another shameless plug real quick. Um started during the pandemic, um in the valley plaza. I do um a trunk and tree. You know, excuse me, I team, I team, I team up with with my city and we do a trunk and tree. I ain't going to say I do a trunk and tree. I can go with people that want to join and they say, man, how can I be down? Shoot, just hit me a day or two before Halloween and just let me know that you want to come down and just open your trunk and just pass out the candy. It's a, it's a controlled. It's a controlled environment by us, you know. I mean like we, we ain't trying to hurt nobody babies and we making sure that the babies got a safe environment where they can get tons and tons of candy without going to knock on somebody else's door that's a fact you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:And then and then you got to think like as a as a parent, one of one of your peers doing something for you, something for, for, for the neighborhood, neighborhood. That's a win-win.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean Right, especially somebody from the neighborhood that you know right. It just makes it easier to get along with Right. Thank you, bro, thank you brother. Seriously, man, I appreciate you coming on. I already know we're about to get hit up by the audience for sure, okay, but I appreciate you coming on, brother, I appreciate you coming on brother, I appreciate you allowing us to give you your flowers on the quality of love.
Speaker 3:I appreciate you. I appreciate you having me, tyrone. Like I said, man, I've been wanting to come on the Quality of Love podcast, bro, like I said, it just had to be God's timing. I didn't want to force the issues, so now we just up here, we just and you asking me, you know, like just open-ended questions, but not like you have me on here for for a purpose and a reason, and I definitely appreciate you for having me on your platform.
Speaker 2:That's a fact and we definitely gonna have you back. It's funny too. I ran into somebody I'll tell you off the off air, but I ran into somebody that was saying that, um, we need to start doing more of these. Like, I need to open up, basically open up the podcast to be able to have like a men's zone where we having some real conversations, right, but then we've given it to other men in the community. I'm like, hmm, I honestly never thought about it. So now, yes, this is, this is definitely opportunity to do something like that. So once again, brother, appreciate you coming on.
Speaker 2:Audience. Thank you, you already know what it is. Hit us up at TQLPQLP20 with any questions that you have for your relationships. If you're dealing with a narcissistic individual, you know we got you hit James up on his Facebook page, bug Williams, if you have any questions for him. But I can promise you this is we're going to have something down the line for y'all for sure. Always keep in mind, man, the quality of love and relationships that you have in your life will determine the quality of your life. Peace and love. Audience. Appreciate you, peace.